This world is a dark, dark, place. The effects of sin ruin individuals and families every day. Last week, on the eve of celebrating my birth, a precious eleven-year-old girl passed away after fighting a horrible illness. It felt awful; I was celebrating life, while a dear family was mourning death.

Soon after, I was confronted with the brokenness of a close friend who has been estranged and outcast by her friends and family. Yet another friend suffers in silence as her parents choose to split the home by divorcing. Fast forward a few days, and I am reminded of the pain children in my hometown are facing. A few kiddos that have become close to my heart over the past year are battling the scars that abandonment, abuse, and neglect have left on their young lives. My heart breaks as the words they have said ring through my mind.

“If God is in control, why did He let my parents leave?”

“I would rather spend forever in Hell than with a God who does this to His children.”

“Miss Chloie, why didn’t my daddy want me?”

“I think the world would be better without me.”

“I will never be happy.”

"Miss Chloie, a boy at school called me an orphan. Is that really what I am?"

“If God is in control, why doesn’t He stop my heart from hurting?”

“My friend was beaten last night, and he didn’t make it to school. Miss Chloie, I am afraid he is going to die.”

I can honestly say that these heart-wrenching questions from the mouths of ten-year-olds have stirred up the most doubts and questions about my God. Why would a good God allow such suffering to take place in the lives of people I love? They will bear scars the rest of their lives. It will affect the way they think, act, speak, and live. And these specific situations cannot compare to the pain in the world. They are only circumstances that touch my heart and life intimately. While I do not claim to have all the answers, I have found peace and confidence in Him. He is who He says He is. And I can be absolutely assured of His goodness for several reasons.

God does not waste pain. There is always a purpose. And whether we know that purpose on earth or not, as Christians we can have full confidence in the love, wisdom, goodness, and power of our Father. Our pain can be used to encourage, counsel, and serve others. When God carries us through a trial, He ultimately glorifies Himself.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

His definition of good is vastly different from mine. When I doubt God’s goodness, I must first go back to the definition of good. In my mind, the definition of good is “what is morally right or righteous.” Something that has a positive effect on an individual or group of people. This is a self-oriented definition. It is based directly on how it impacts a particular person and their perspective. This meaning often neglects to bring into light that what may be considered “good” right now, will not be considered good after other circumstances have taken place. What a comfort it is to know that while we see only a thread, God sees the entire tapestry that He is masterfully weaving our lives into."For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me,
declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose."

Isaiah 46:9-10

God’s definition of good is what brings Him glory. If a situation brings glory to Himself, it is good. As created beings, this aligns closely with our purpose on earth- also to bring God glory. His goodness is shown in a tangible way through His plan of salvation, sending His Son to die, and bringing us to redemption. If He deems placing a person in a certain situation will draw others to Himself and ultimately bring Him glory, it is considered good. I can rest in the knowledge that the God who rescued me is the same God who cares for these children, and the same God who is in complete control of everything that takes place on this earth.

"Everyone who is called by My name, whom I created for My glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:7

"Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture." Psalm 100:2-3

"So whether you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

My God is good. My God is good, just, holy, loving, and gracious and exhibits each attribute perfectly. There is nothing He lacks.

In further consideration of the wickedness on the earth, I have found a deep desire and longing for Jesus to come back. The English language lacks a word that fully describes the weight my soul feels when the darkness of this world draws so near. Yet, this turns my eyes back upon my Savior all the more. If the world was perfect, I would have no need for a Savior. I would have no desire to see Jesus face to face, to worship at His feet. There would be nothing to be saved from. How gracious our Father is to provide us a hope that surpasses the weight of evil in this world.

Thereby, I will continue to press on. We will continue to press on. For although there is darkness on every side, we will not be overcome for God is with us. As the beloved hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” May the pain we endure and witness in this world serve as a reminder to fix our gaze on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.