When Trust Is Broken

When Trust Is Broken

Once it’s gone, can you ever get it back?
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As a species, humans depend on forming bonds and connections with each other for survival. Relationships are complicated in and of themselves, and there is a variety in types of relationships—friends, family members, employers, significant others, etc.—that further complicates the subject. As we let new people into our lives and let them learn more about us, we become increasingly vulnerable. Thus, we run the risk of being let down and hurt by others. It hurts to have this done by casual acquaintances, but the pain of having a loved one blatantly disregard your feelings cannot be quantified. We entrusted our most important thoughts and feelings to them, and they betrayed us.

Trust is one of the fundamental building blocks of strong relationships. It serves as the foundation upon which a bond develops, providing a sense of stability. As you build a new relationship, you gradually gain someone’s trust and they gain yours, and the closeness deepens as time passes. This process happens naturally and, usually, easily… until one party does something to break that trust. Then you are left standing hurt and confused, surrounded by all the debris of the relationship.

Why do we humans, who desire such close relationships with others, do things to break a loved one’s trust? We invest long hours and a lot of energy to earn this trust, and in a split second, it can so easily be thrown away. Trust can be destroyed in many ways: Dishonesty, disrespectful behavior, insensitivity to someone's feelings—any of these can leave you feeling wary, questioning how you ever felt connected to such an individual. As someone who does not trust easily to begin with, I am quick to distance myself once I feel betrayed.

The scariest and saddest part of it all is that the people who hurt you the most are the ones that you never expected would do so. The closer the bond, the more vulnerable you become. If a co-worker or casual friend does something to hurt us, we may be angry or disappointed, but we can usually move past it fairly easily. Betrayal by those closest to you, however, cuts deeply, like an old rusty knife, and it takes much longer to heal. To be sure, it will eventually heal, but it will undoubtedly leave a scar that cannot be fully hidden and will continue to ache from time to time.

So if you want to form lasting and loving relationships, here is my advice: always be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but an upsetting truth is much easier to forgive than a hurtful lie. Let your actions and words show that you value the other person and the relationship. Once you establish a connection with someone, try not to take it for granted. Life can be very lonely unless we share the journey with others. If you are enjoying close bonds with the important people in your life, celebrate that and be careful to protect them. If you have been hurt, do not let those feelings of betrayal control your future. The process of healing is hard, but each of us can find a way to move forward and find peace. Ultimately, the benefits of our human relationships far outweigh the risks of betrayal. As time allows us to heal, we inevitably look to build new bonds with new people. All of these experiences, both good and bad, enrich our lives and help us grow into better, stronger individuals.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB1qFQoTCJeXsKaz8McCFcWqgAodDR0AeA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fleaderchat.org%2F2011%2F06%2F20%2Fhave-you-broken-trust-with-your-people-a-5-step-process-for-getting-back-on-track%2F&psig=AFQjCNFx5rXmGWUNj2aDOL97Ubgv-KDT2g&ust=1442109570451554

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.
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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Abortion Bans Are Only A Small Part Of The Republican War On Women

These bans expose the Republican Party for what it truly is.

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This week, several states passed laws that ban abortion after six to eight weeks of pregnancy, before most women even know that they're pregnant. The most egregious of these is Alabama — the state has banned abortion except for in cases of danger to the mother. Exceptions in the cases of rape and incest were actively voted against by the state legislature. Under the new law, any doctor who is caught giving an abortion would be sentenced to 99 years in prison, and the woman would be charged with murder.

Apart from the fact that this explicitly violates the decision of Roe v. Wade (which is the point), this is only a small part of the slow but steady degradation of women's rights by Republicans in the United States. To anyone who believes that this is simply about people being "pro-life" or "saving the children," then tell them to look at what happens after the fetus is carried to term.

Republicans oppose forcing fathers to be involved in the lives of their children that were forcibly carried to term, desires to cut food stamps and make it more difficult to feed said child, cut funding for affordable housing to make it more difficult for them to find homes, cut spending to public education so these children can't move up the social ladder, and refuse to offer the woman or her child health insurance to keep them both healthy. What about efforts to prevent pregnancy? Republicans also oppose funding birth control and contraception, as well as opposing comprehensive sexual education. To them, the only feasible solution is to simply keep your legs shut. They oppose all of these things because it is, in their eyes, a violation of individual rights to force people to do something. The bill also makes women who get abortions felons, and felons can't vote. I'll let you finish putting those two together.

If you view it from this framework, it would seem like Republicans are being extremely hypocritical by violating the personal freedoms of pregnant women, but if you look at it from the view of restricting social mobility for women, then it makes perfect sense. The Republican dogma of "individual rights" and "personal responsibility" is a socially acceptable facade that they use to cover up their true intentions of protecting the status quo and protect those in power. About any Republican policy, ask yourself: does this disperse power or consolidate it? Whether it be education, healthcare, the environment, or the economy, Republicans love to keep power away from the average citizen and give it to the small number of people that they deem "deserving" of it because of their race, gender, wealth, or power. This is the case with abortion as well; Power is being taken from women, and being given back to men in a reversal of the Feminist Movement of the 1970s.

Republicans don't believe in systemic issues. They believe that everyone has the same opportunity to succeed regardless of what point they started. This is why they love capitalism so much. It acts as some sort of great filter in which only those who deserve power can make it to the top. It's also why they hate social policies; they think that helping people who can't help themselves changes the hierarchy in a negative way by giving people who don't "deserve" power, power. Of course, we know that just because you have money and power doesn't mean you earned it fair and square, and even if Republicans believe it, it wouldn't change anything because it wouldn't change how they want to distribute power.

In short, Republican policies, including abortion, leave the average American with less money, less protection, less education, worse health, less opportunity, fewer rights, and less freedom. This is NOT a side effect. This is the point. Regardless of what Republicans will tell you about "inalienable rights" and how everyone is equal, in reality, they believe that some people and groups are more deserving of rights than others, and the group that deserves rights the most are the ones "that will do the best with them." To Republicans, this group consists of the wealthy, the powerful, and the white — the mega-rich, the CEOs of large companies, gun owners and Christians.

So, who do Republicans think deserve power and give it to? People who look and think like them. This, however, begs the question: Who do they want to take it from?

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