My first Friday night of college was spent alone in my dorm room binge watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Alone in a new place full of new people, especially as a second-semester transfer student, I was constantly in fear of making friends. That first night, I sat there listening to the other girls in the hallway going from room to room making plans to go out with each other; laughing, gossiping, having fun...I had never felt so alone. I thought it would always be that way; that I would never meet anyone, never bond with anyone, never connect with someone. In high school I was friends with everyone, then all the sudden here I was, alone in a cold little dorm. Honestly, stress from making new friends cost me more tear-soaked tissues than I am willing to admit.
About two weeks into the semester, I still hadn’t really made a connection with anyone. One day, while I was spending yet another Friday night by myself, my dad sent me a text that changed my entire outlook on my college experience. He said, “Don’t stress about making friends. I would rather spend my entire life alone then spend life with the wrong friends.”
Let that sink in for a second.
I often like to picture my life as one long timeline; that way, I can see the bigger picture. I can see if things will matter to me in the long run, if the little bumps in the road are truly worth stressing over, if the small things going wrong in life truly matter. That day, I looked at the bigger picture, and I realized; isn’t spending time alone, better than feeling alone, lost in a big crowd of people? Isn’t patiently waiting to find your true friends, your soulmates, your people, worth the wait?
In high school, whenever I had drama going on between my peers and I, my mother would explain to me that not all friends are permanent, and not all friends are worth it. She has the greatest friends in the world, and the best part is, she did not meet them until she was in her thirties. It took her that long to find the people who truly lifted her up, cared for her, listened to her, laughed with her, and loved her. Everyone else who came and went in her life was just a little spot on her timeline.
Since that first Friday night of college, I have had friends come and go; some who remain by my side, some who have proven to just be moments on my long, beautiful timeline. And that is okay. At the end of the day, friends are meant to lift you up, to make you feel like the best possible version of yourself, to support you, believe in you, trust you, listen to you, and love you with a bond that is only comparable to a family. That is worth any wait.
