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Trigger Me Softly

(Or, #idontneedfeminism)

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Trigger Me Softly
Alex Holyoake

Ah, feminism. Once it was the driving force behind so much positive change in society, and now...Here I am, a woman, writing about why I think modern feminism is a joke, a mistake, and needs to just go away.

I used to call myself a feminist. I used to share shit on Facebook all the time about how women in the U.S. are subjected to all kinds of social injustices. It went like this: I'd skim some article with some stats about the plight of the woman, get my jimmies all rustled, then share with some half-thought out, ignorant sentence about how #ineedfeminism. I can't stand looking at my Timehop because of how cringey it is. For some reason, I needed something to be upset about, and for an unfortunate time, I let myself get sucked into the world of the social justice warrior, otherwise known as an SJW.

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For those who don't know what an SJW is, let me explain. An SJW is a creature born from the worst parts of social media. These are the feminazis that give feminism a bad rap. These are the women--and I guess men--who hide behind screens and refuse to leave the safety of their own worldview. They dog-pile on others in comment sections with facts cherry-picked from whatever circle-jerk pro-feminist website they source. They reduce societal problems to a hashtag.

I wonder how many so-called feminists have heard of Betty Frieden. Better yet, I wonder if any of them have read her book, The Feminine Mystique. Feminism isn't posting rant videos on the internet and telling people to like and share "to spread the message." If feminists understood anything, they would know that modern women are leaps and bounds ahead of where we were in the last sixty years. Female voices are louder than ever. No one is trying to silence anyone. There's no secret male agenda. If feminists really wanted to know the struggle, then they would take a look at places outside of the Western hemisphere.

The biggest trigger for feminists seems to be the sexualization of women. Once upon a time, I, too, found fault with the (mis?)representation of women in the media. But then I realized that it doesn't matter. Why do I care if the cover model is too perfect? That is literally her job. The magazine's job is to sell copies. I'm going to use Cosmopolitan as an example for the next couple of paragraphs because I think it's an easy target for feminists. Why does it matter if a woman wants to show off her (ass)ets? Why do feminists shame female models for posing in a manner that is considered provocative or subjecting themselves to the male gaze? To me, feminism is about being able to enjoy my femininity without being nagged about it.

What irks me is feminists who get riled up about skimpy outfits that cover models wear, but then turn around and wear a provocative outfit in public "because it makes me feel cute." And then, when men approach them or hit on them, they go online and rage about how they can't go anywhere without men acting like dogs, and how it's the mainstream media's fault for over-sexualizing women and letting them become objects for the male gaze. Why can't the woman on the magazine cover wear an outfit that makes her feel the same way? Why is it her fault for being comfortable enough in her skin to show off her body? Feminists need to stop blaming men for being drawn to beauty. It isn't men who buy Cosmo--it's women. You don't see a man in line at the register ogling the woman on the cover of whatever glossy periodical is on display. You know who scopes those magazines out? It’s the magazine's target audience. Do you know who that is? It's other women, ranging from teenage girls to housewives.

Feeling feminine--pretty, cute, sexy--is an important part of having confidence. If a woman feels more confident in a mini skirt than in pants, then girl, do your thing. I can't tell you that you're asking for it, or you're doing just what men want by showing some skin. We don't need feminists policing magazine covers or TV ads. I'm not sure why it matters if a celebrity in a magazine wants to appear sexy or not. Sexiness isn't a bad thing--feeling sexy or hot is a healthy sign of feeling good about oneself, and people shouldn't be afraid to feel that good feeling. This isn't the Dark Ages, and it isn't the job of a feminist to declare what is and isn't detrimental to women as a whole.

When did actual, real feminists like Frieden get replaced with blue-haired feminazis who bitch and moan from the safety of their Tumblr blog? Feminism of today seems to have devolved into nothing more than angry Facebook statuses or YouTube vlogs. I'm going out on a limb, but those feminists who think they can make a change by throwing more shit into the growing pile of SJW literature on the internet could do more by going to places where women truly are experiencing second-class citizenship because of their gender. You know, places where girls aren’t taught about their periods or sex. Places where girls drop out of school in order to get married in order to alleviate her family’s financial burden. Places where it really, truly sucks to be a female.

I don’t need feminism because the hard work has already been done. I am allowed to vote, I can voice my opinion at my job, online, or anywhere else, and I won’t get thrown in jail. I can wear pants. I can keep my last name when I *choose* to marry. I have the luxury of going to the store and finding entire aisles devoted just to female products. Women have spots in government, corporate positions, and just about everywhere else. So, as a former SJW speaking to other SJWs, take a chill pill. It’s better for all of us.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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