If you're lucky, you won't go through much trauma in life. People are always saying that life is an unpredictable winding road where no one knows the end destination, but how often do we actually believe that? I can tell you that most of the time I lived in a mild ignorance of this saying, where I knew it was there, but I chose to ignore it. I liked to think that I knew relatively what was going to happen from day to day, and where I was going to eventually end up. But then there was a trauma in my life, and like many people, it catches you off guard and you aren't sure what to do with it.
People all deal with trauma in their own way. Some people get really emotional, some people cry all the time, others choose to ignore it, others don't cry at all, and some become the leader, the ones who cry on their own time, in front of no one, and you get things done. You set things in motion, and you do what you must because someone has to, even if you aren't the "adult" of the situation.
None of the ways to handle trauma or grief are wrong, because everyone has their own unique set of feelings, and ways of dealing with them, and eventually they will all end the way they are going to end and that's just the way it is. As much as people would like to be able to control everything that happens in your life, you can't. Life has its own autopilot and there is no way to switch it off. It's going to do what it is going to do.
Life and trauma create learning experiences where they have the opportunity to learn a lot about themselves. I have learned through my trauma that I am a stronger person than I ever imagined, and I can handle so much more than I ever thought possible.
I am stronger than some people I thought were the strongest people I knew, but I realized that it came out of necessity, not out of willpower. I realized that strong people are made strong by circumstance, not by wanting to just simply be strong. Trauma also taught me that I have to remember to have my own life, even if it seems impossible at times, because whatever is going to happen, at the end of the day, it is going to happen, and you sitting there being helpless won't change it. You can't control circumstances even if you want to.
Strength is the end result of trauma, even if it ends up okay. If it doesn't resolve in a desired way, you still become stronger. You change as a person in general. You realize that sometimes crying doesn't help anything and that being the anchor for other people does.
You realize to appreciate everyone around you, no matter how small the interaction, and to love the people in your life. You discover how many people care and how much some people will fight to get through things, and how some people will just shut down. No matter what they do, it's all okay, because trauma is something everyone will experience, and something that will change you once it does, but don't let it change you forever, because the person you were before was perfectly imperfect, and now, just be a stronger version of you.
