It can be a terrifying thing for someone to see you for who you actually are instead of who you’ve been pretending to be.
When I was onboarded to write for Odyssey, my excitement was abruptly overshadowed by tremendous fear. I knew I had tons of great content to write about, but that would mean people will actually see who I really am. The mask will come off, the façade will fade, and the life that I live behind a mask will become public.
People will finally realize that I’m not perfect.
Let’s recap for a second. I love to write, and I have had a strong passion for writing ever since I was a little girl. I always knew I had a talent for writing, and after declaring my major in Media/Communication Studies, I was so glad I had finally found a way to put my talent to use. I have always been told to start blogging and writing articles for the public to read, but always feared rejection and judgment from others. I can hear the comments now…
“Bri has gained so much weight since high school!”
“Bri’s in some stupid major at FSU and is never going to get a job.”
“Is Bri even going to church anymore?”
“Can you believe that Bri is still in love with that one boy??”
I could go on for days, but the thought of everyone finally seeing behind the mask I constantly wear was once a terrifying idea. Knowing that the picture perfect life I constantly parade around in front of others would collapse in front of my face, and I’d have to stop pretending like I have it all together when in reality I’m nowhere close. These are all of the thoughts that entered my head when I was told that I, Bri Godwin from Middle of Nowhere, FL, was chosen to be one of the current 40 FSU writers for Odyssey.
After a few minutes of frantic worrying that my life will be unveiled for all to see, I got a slap in the face from a voice that sounded so similar to my favorite person in the entire world, my dad. It’s almost as if I heard him say, “Bri, I know you’re not going to let the judgment of others keep you from doing what you love. You’re a great writer and this is a great opportunity, you’re not going to let it slip through the cracks. I know I raised you better than that.” I didn't even have to ask for his advice because the words I knew he would say invaded my mind before I had the chance.
And you know what? This hypothetical slap in the face was exactly what I needed. Why would I ever let the fear of others judging me stop me from doing something that I love? Since when do I care so much about what other people think? It sounds so cliché, “don’t let the judgment of others define what you do,” but in that moment it became so real. My passion to write and this amazing opportunity mean so much more to me than any judgment that will be passed along the way.
So I’m finally going to take the mask off, and I’m going to be transparent. I’m going to write great articles, and people are going to learn tons of new things about me. I’m going to write because I love to, and I will greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read what I have to say.
And I’m not going to give a damn what anyone thinks.
