For my friends who have met me in high school or college, I'm a carefree, feminist-type jokester with tons of piercings, a flower tattoo, and an affinity for short-shorts and worn-out t-shirt crop-tops. I'm fast-talking and foul-mouthed and haven't been know to shy away from a good time. I'm a firm believer in equal and civil rights for women, LGBTQ citizens and persons of color. Any one of those friends could tell you that on Sunday mornings I'm 100% asleep and on Sunday afternoons, I'm watching something on Netflix. One day with me, you'd know I wasn't a church-goer or even someone with firm and clear beliefs (which might be attributed to my eye rolling when someone mentions prayer or my tendencies to take the Lord's name in vain).

But, believe it or not, I was not raised this way at all. The exact opposite, actually. My parents are both active members of The Church of Latter Day Saints aka LDS, or more commonly known as Mormons. Both have been since childhood, pursuing mission services when they were in college and marrying in the Washington, DC, Temple in 1978, which was the closest to their Michigan homes. (Nowadays there's a Chicago temple and now even an Indianapolis Temple.) They had seven children and raised us all in the Faith. Now I know what a lot of you are thinking, but no, LDS Mormons are not polygamists and we don't worship false Gods. I grew up in a pretty normal household. We went to church on Sundays, I attended Sunday School and bible study, I was a member of youth group, I read my bible, I wore modest clothing, I didn't curse. I did everything you would've done in church.

Now, I don't know if it was the fact that several of my siblings stopped attending church or that I honestly didn't actually like going in the first place, but towards the beginning of my high school career, I started questioning religion. Mind you, I wasn't questioning just the Mormon religion and I didn't think anyone Mormon I met was falsely converted to God, but the whole construct seemed strange and ridiculous to me. Why would God care if I wanted to cover my body in art? Why did God care that I liked showing off my legs? Legs can't be suggestive, right? I stopped attending services and cut myself out of church and religion as much as I could. My parents didn't understand - I still don't think they do - but for me, religion became binding, constricting. There were things I knew about myself that compromised my relationship with churches, with people who took the practice much more seriously than the meaning. I'm not a nonbeliever, but I'm not a present force in the community.

My God - a God no one but myself has to believe in - is a God who doesn't make an ever-present presence in my life. My God isn't a God who will look at me on Judgement Day and say I did wrong for standing up for what I believe in. My God knows I love him, despite my lack of worship or bible study. I may be unreligious, but I'm not a nonbeliever.