This week a video came out of a woman obviously distressed yelling at a Gamestop employee. The employee deliberately misgendered her when asking her to calm down, but further inflamed the situation by disrespecting her. Viewers do not know what happened before the video started, but as the employee continued to call the woman "sir," it's clear that it had been done maliciously before.
While some laughed at the situation, warning others about this "PC nightmare," it was painful to watch. To see someone so clearly disrespecting another person after they asked to be called something is hard to watch, and it makes it worse to see how distressed the woman was. She demanded simple respect, and to deliberately go against it in front of a busy store full of customers is a useless, violent act.
The woman demanded to see the corporate number, refusing to accept apologies as the employee finally started calling her "ma'am." But calling corporate isn't enough in situations like these. It is a dangerous situation for the woman and many might not know that.
The life expectancy of a transgender woman is between 30 and 35, with high mortality rates yearly due to murder and suicide. That means a transgender woman is given half the life a cis woman, simply because of useless, malicious violence.
When you decide to misgender someone, instead of taking the time to respect their wishes, you put their life in danger. You hold power over someone's hopes and dreams to be accepted into a society that refuses to deter from the duality they hold so dearly. You may think it's some politically correct doctrine seeking to destroy everything you know and love about your life, but the respect lies in a power structure that most refuse to acknowledge.
Just like racism, those who sit at the bottom of the power structure do not stand to benefit from "destroying" your careful society standards. They, in fact, do not have the power to disrupt your normality, and in asking for the respect they deserve they are not trying to suppress you but rather create equity for themselves.
It is important to recognize the power relationship between cis people and transgender people because it can help reduce the violence against the latter. Cisgender people are society's norm; they are accepted in every way and never face violence because the way they identify. They hold the power to respect trans people and protect trans people with their normalness. It is important to know as cis people that the simple decision to respect someone's gender preferences will do nothing to your own identity and the power you hold in society.
Respecting someone's gender preferences takes seconds and little to no thought when you are looking out for someone else. Often in these situations, we forget that we are all human and everyone deserves the same respect as anyone else.
It is beyond me, especially after working in customer service for almost five years, how you could disrespect someone so openly when they are simply going about their day. Every person has value and as a human being you should hold yourself to a standard of respect for everyone.
Stop misgendering people because you are too weak and lazy to respect their wishes. It's easy to respect someone and it does nothing but boost your integrity.
