To The Transfer Student Struggling To Make Friends, You Aren't Alone In Feeling Lonely
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To The Transfer Student Struggling To Make Friends, You Aren't Alone In Feeling Lonely

Yes, I see you. Actually, I'm one of you.

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To The Transfer Student Struggling To Make Friends, You Aren't Alone In Feeling Lonely

I know you might feel lonely sometimes and like you won't be able to connect with others. You might have to walk to your classes alone, eat alone, and study alone, while watching people socialize, go to events and hang out with their friend group. I know, because that's what I do, and I feel that way too.

I think we can agree that moving to a new town to start college is intimidating. But what's more intimidating is moving for the second time, to a new school, and not as an incoming freshman anymore. Yes, I'm talking about transferring. You're left wondering, "What will my classes be like?" and "What clubs will I join?". But, the most important question for me was, "Will I make any friends?"

Having already experienced college before, we can tend to compare and contrast how things are different between your two schools. Also, having already attended college before the novelty of it has worn off. It's not just for fun or partying anymore. Chances are if you transferred in, you're at the point in your education where you really need to buckle down and take school seriously, so it can be hard to connect to and make friends with the majority of incoming students. On the other hand though, the students that are returning already have their friend groups, so it is difficult to find your place there too.

There are a few things to consider if you too are struggling to make friends and connect to people on your campus. First, you have to give yourself time. I know personally for myself, after the second week of classes and still not having talked to a single other student, I felt discouraged. Discouragement though, is a normal feeling. You can't let that discouragement stop you from being a friendly face, saying hi to others in passing or going to campus events where you could potentially meet some friends. The first few weeks of school are rough for everyone, so don't be discouraged. Chances are other students are just trying to get the hang of living in a new place and having a new schedule, just like you.

Secondly, don't give up. Today, my RA told me, that even she didn't have a solid friend group until her second year. It can be easy to get stuck in a rut, lock yourself in your room and watch Netflix instead, but I encourage you not to. Netflix is good company sometimes but where you're craving human interaction, Netflix just won't do. So, go to the events your hall puts on and reach out to people in your classes, even if it feels awkward, you might meet someone there feeling equally as awkward to be friends with.

Thirdly, take the extra time you have to spend some quality time with yourself. Did you ever have a hobby or activity you wanted to do but none of your friends wanted to participate? Here's the perfect time to do those things. Perhaps, you love to read but haven't gotten the chance to really get into a book lately, take this time and read the book. Do the project. Watch that movie no one else wanted to see. One of my favorite quotes comes from Poet Rupi Kaur, "Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself." Learn to love yourself fully and enjoy having fun and spending time alone and maybe the people around you will take notice, and want in on the fun.

Whatever you choose to do, just know you aren't alone in feeling lonely. Lots of college students have been through similar struggles that they would never talk about. Just keep your spirits up and keep trying.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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