To My Toxic "Best Friend"
Start writing a post
Relationships

To My Toxic "Best Friend"

So when you're missing me and need a friend, keep it to yourself.

1071
To My Toxic "Best Friend"
StockSnap.io

Let me start off by saying thank you for being another lesson in this thing called life and another example of what I don't want... especially what I don't need.

You were my best friend. You were my go to. You were my right hand. You were my better half. You were the person I turned to when my world was tumbling down. You were all of this, but now you're another chapter closed in my book. Thank God I closed that door and kept walking away every time I wanted to turn around.

You took advantage of me, and you KNOW you did. I'm the type of person who will let you walk all over me, and won't say a word. I'm the type of person who sees every inch of good in you that I possibly can, and I even make excuses for the bad. You used that to your benefit and tried controlling me. I couldn't hang out with certain people without you having something to say about it, I couldn't wear white pants if you were going to wear white pants, I couldn't have boy problems since you were single, I couldn't listen to that song because you didn't know it. Anything that you could control, you did because you KNEW I wouldn't say anything to you and cause conflict between us. You basically used my heart against me.

You were SO selfish. I shouldn't have to put myself last because you "needed" me. You didn't need me though, you needed the attention. You needed the feeling of being wanted and loved. You needed something that you should've looked for in yourself. I tried and tried to "fix" you every single day, but I couldn't and you took that out on me like it was my priority to be your saving grace. You made me choose between you or my family, you or my schooling, you or my job, you or myself. Yet, you NEVER chose me. It was never about me and that's not the way it's supposed to work. When did you EVER go out of your way for me? Anyone who knows you and I can answer that for me... never. You EXPECTED me to go out of my way for you EVERY day. It was exhausting.

Everyone around me saw it and they knew I would eventually learn my lesson. A part of me wishes they would have said something to me earlier but I know that I would've told them it's about how you treat me and not them, even though I was blinded by who you really are.

So this is my goodbye to you. This is goodbye to the exhausted nights after not being good enough for you. This is goodbye to all of the times I wasted coming to you. This is goodbye to all of the memories I thought were good. This is goodbye to the negativity bringing me down. This is goodbye to feeling unwanted. This is goodbye to hopelessly wondering what more I could do for you. This is goodbye to having to explain myself. This is goodbye to the most toxic relationship I've ever been in. This is goodbye to you turning this around on me. Most importantly, this is goodbye to apologizing when I was the best that I could be to you.

I've finally learned that's it's okay to give up and walk away from people who are absolutely no good for you. It's okay to take care of yourself first. It's okay to not apologize for being yourself. It's all okay.

So when you're missing me and need a friend, keep it to yourself. You were bad news to me and you started killing who I was slowly. I couldn't go out, be happy, or be myself without you trying to find something wrong with it. I'm begging you to NOT come back around expecting another chance.

I hope and pray you become the person I thought you were, every single day so that maybe no one else will have to go through what I did with you.

I want nothing but the best for you, but I've realized that I don't want to be by your side when you finally get there. I'll watch from a distance and send you my love.

Good luck with the rest of your life.

Love always, peace out girl scout.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey

16823

Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

59132
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.

113948

Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.

132067

As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

106266
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments