Have you ever had one of those moments where you think, "Did that really just happen to me?" Those times where you look around and see if anyone else thought what had just happened was as weird as you thought it was? Somehow, I've had an unusual amount of these super-strange encounters, and I decided it would be fun to share some of those with you. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a cringe-worthy montage of my social-awkwardness top three.
3. "Didn't See You There"
While I was walking through the halls of my high school during the first week of my junior year, I saw on my schedule that I had to climb the stairs for my next class. I joined the gigantic group of students lining up to go upstairs. My books were a bit heavier than I thought, and they started slipping out of my hands. I got distracted for a second, and all of a sudden, I wiped out on the stairs. It was bad enough that I'd tripped up the stairs. It was even worse that my height made it so no one else noticed, and just kept walking on and around me. The most embarrassing thing was that no one realized I was there until I got up. Ouch.
2. "The Mall-Massage Fiasco"
One day, my mother and I were walking through the mall to pick up some new clothes. We were both tired out of our minds, and it was getting to be later in the afternoon. Just as we were passing the last kiosk on the way to the other end of the mall, an older woman from the spa-store across the way rushed over to us. "You want massage?" she asked my mother in a thick accent. "Oh, no I'm fine!" she said back. We started walking away, but the woman stopped us again. "Sure?" she asked. "Yes, I'm sure, thank you," my mother said again. I was standing off to the side, watching the woman try to get my mother to go inside, to which she kept refusing. "No, is good!" the woman smiled. She then proceeded to grab her by the shoulders and start massaging her in the middle of the mall. I just about died from trying not to laugh at this, but it was definitely pretty funny seeing my mom's reaction. After she finally said she had to get home and couldn't stay, the woman walked away. Needless to say, minutes later we had fast-walked out of that area of the mall like pros. Later, my mom turned to me and said, "Now I feel bad... It felt kind of nice!"
1. "That Didn't Happen At The Last Supper"
Rewind to the eighth grade and a lankier, prepubescent Lauren. I'd been working with the rest of my middle-school classmates on the school play, "Godspell," which is a somewhat hippie-dippie-80s version of the life of Jesus. Pretty expected out of a Catholic school, but trust me, it's cooler than it sounds! After months of practicing and getting lines, songs, and choreography just right, opening night arrived. I was pumped, but I was also extremely nervous. To my relief, an hour of the performance went by practically without a hitch on everyone's part. Then, disaster struck at the Last Supper scene. No, I'm not talking about Jesus dying. Just before then, however, those of us onstage had to pass around bread and juice to eat. After that, two other singers and I would stand and sing an emotional, slow song as the rest of the characters started "falling asleep." As the food was passed down the line, I and one of the singers found ourselves at the end of the row with a gigantic piece of bread. We couldn't leave any of it onstage, and we started panicking. She tore off a tiny piece and gave the rest to me. I almost screamed, "What do you want me to do with this, now?!" before realizing that it was getting closer and closer to song time. I needed to do something. My genius idea? Stuff the whole piece of bread in my face. It was only when I noticed how dry and chewy it was that it was pita bread. My even more genius idea? Spit it out. No one would notice, right? Right? Nope. It was on video. Most embarrassing performance ever.
