There are plenty of struggles an English major faces, from cramped hands to the constant refraining from correcting everyone's grammar so as not to be a total irk, but following are the extreme and slightly hyperbolic (yes, pretentious and English-majory way of saying exaggerated) worst struggles of being an English major:
1. Everyone thinks it's a fake major
No one thinks we do any work, which is just bananas, since I read and write more plays, short stories, novels, and creative non-fiction tales a day than the average literate young adult who could be watching Stranger Things instead of poring over Henrik Ibsen.
2. Everyone thinks you're never going to make any money
The amount of times I've been asked what I'm going to do with my major accompanied with a dubious look and an "Ooh, sounds interesting" is astonishing. No one ever thinks an English teacher is going to succeed, be it writing, editing, teaching, corporate endeavor, or the like. Regardless of the generation, when I answer people's questions with "English major", I'm getting judged, pitied, or chuckled at.
3. Everyone thinks you want to be an English teacher
Being an English teacher is fantastic, but this is like assuming every biology major wants to be a high school biology teacher, which never happens. It's not just presumptuous, it's unlikely.
4. You edit everyone's papers (and secretly enjoy it, except when that one person you hate asks you to do it)
Yes, I'll edit my bff's paper with the glee of a sweaty frat boy playing pong, but when that annoying girl who quotes the syllabus asks me to scour her editorial on ponies, I'm not thrilled.
5. When you make a grammatical error it feels like a mortal sin
And someone always says, "Aren't you supposed to be an English major?" Response: no more proofread papers for them. We're not gods (though we could be).
6. You probably hate most other subjects, except History and drama and other imaginative stuff
Math sucks. Ask any English major, they probably hate math and all those evil numbers that have no backstories or complicated inner monologues occurring.
7. Most English professors expect you to read one six-hundred page book in two days
This is psychotic, and doesn't work. No one reads like that, not even professors.
8. English professors are usually scatter-brained hippies just like yourself
Oh, they're totally cool and most likely ask you to call them by their first name, along with chugging down coffee which inevitably ends up spilling down their Jane Austen t-shirts and smattering their clogs, but good God are they forgetful. We all are, it's part of our wild imaginations always whirring in different directions. It's both endearing and somewhat difficult to deal with when it comes to profs who don't know how to work email and therefore can't reply, but it's all part of the fun.
9. Typing non-stop on a laptop is constant, since you have to write seventy-three papers a day
I'm constantly typing way too loudly and causing conductive hearing loss to all those around me.
10. You're too creative for your own good
We jot down plot lines in our notebooks, stare at trees and contemplate poetry, dream up lives for strangers and test out new words on our tongues. We don't pay too much attention to the things we should but pay all our attention to the minor details, the details that could become a story that leads to something real, a novel. But that's what makes us so fun to be around- we create.
