Ah, soft pretzels. America's pastime. There's nothing better than a soft pretzel and there's no soft pretzel better than Auntie Anne's. Whether you're shopping at your local mall, shopping at a mall kind of far away from your house, or shopping at a mall and meticulously searching for the perfect treat to taunt your caged son with, you can't go wrong with Auntie Anne's. These are the five best Auntie Anne's pretzels to eat in front of your son that are sure to make him wish he wasn't behind bars.

1. Sweet Almond Soft Pretzel

The sweet almond pretzel is definitely the most underrated of all of the pretzels on the Auntie Anne's menu. It's topped with toasted almonds and goes wonderfully with caramel dip. Not only will this pairing really please the palette, but the gooey, mouth-watering texture of the caramel dip is great for toying with your son's emotions. Slowly pull the pretzel out of the dip and watch the silky smooth caramel drizzle. If your son wasn't already wishing you hadn't locked him in a cage without telling him why, he sure is now!

2. Original Soft Pretzel

There's nothing more nostalgic than a classic soft pretzel, which is why it's the perfect choice to eat in front of your son. He'll be transported back to a simpler time of summer nights, baseball games and not being locked in a birdcage that you haven't cleaned since Perchie died. You can even toss him your salty crumbs which will surely have him begging for water later on. Double win!

3. Cinnamon Sugar Soft Pretzel

The cinnamon sugar pretzel is the perfect pretzel for anyone with a sweet tooth or anyone who has a son with a sweet tooth who hasn't eaten in days. With a flaky crust and a sugary finish, you can't go wrong with this sweet and savory combo. He'll be begging for the sweet taste of cinnamon and freedom! Just make sure he doesn't beg too loud or the neighbors might hear.

4. Sour Cream and Onion Soft Pretzel

It's a flavor of chips... on a pretzel. Now that's just FUN. Hopefully your son will see the irony, because he's having no fun at all and is pretty uncomfortable.

5. Pepperoni Pretzel Nuggets

Pretzel Nuggets are great for an easy, poppable snack. Half the mess. All the flavor. They're also the perfect size to fit through the bars on your son's cage. Have a little fun and tell him you'll toss him a pretzel nugget if he can guess why you locked him in the cage. The best part is, you did it for no reason. So you'll get to keep all of those delicious pepperoni treats for yourself, all while watching him struggle. Dinner and a show!