It's 2 A.M. on a Friday night, and boy, are you hungry. The bars have closed, and you are drunkenly stumbling up and down Court Street looking for a late night bite to eat. With so many options, it can be kind of intimidating to choose the best place to spend the money you don't have on a midnight snack. I know this can be a stressful activity, but what it really comes down to is the level of drunk that you are. From slightly buzzed to completely blacked out, here are the best choices for your drunken state of hunger.
1. Big Mama's Burritos: Level 7
You're stumbling back to your dorm or apartment and see this little blue alcove enticing you to come in for a nicely wrapped burrito. However, the long lines and sub-par ingredients require a heavy state of drunkenness.
2. Chicken 'n Waffles: Level 6
Ah, the always loved "Chicken 'n Waffles" from Uptown Grill. This masterpiece of a fried chicken patty slapped between two warm and tender waffles, topped off with some sweet ass honey mustard sauce just cries for our attention on the weekends. Make sure to have a sufficient amount of alcohol in your system to fully appreciate what this artery-clogging sandwich has to offer.
3. Pita Pit: Level 1
You can't honestly tell me that you would rather have a healthy pita than something deep fried and smothered in sauce. You're either sober or on a really strict diet with this one.
4. O'Betty's Chili Cheese Fries: Level 10
O'Betty's is truly the only one there for you in your time of need. Warm and delicious fries topped off with a mound of melted cheese and chili served to you through a magical window will assure that you had a great night that you probably won't remember.
5. Insomnia Cookies: Level 2
Although a cookie may be a delectable treat when you are up late studying for finals, when you are trying to ease the pain of a hangover the next morning, this is not the way to do it. Insomnia Cookies is a place for people that pretend to be drunk enough for drunk food, but really just want to indulge without being judged. No one wants a cookie after a heavy night of drinking, come on.
6. Wendy's: Level 8
This smiling ginger is an inviting face when you're looking for a cheap bite to eat at night. With everything being fried and made quickly, nothing could be more satisfying to a drunk person than Wendy's. You have to be pretty hammered to wait in that slow moving line that seems to keep regenerating the closer you get to the counter, though.
7. Jimmy John's: Level 5
This one's a toughy. The subs are delicious, but it doesn't take a lot to be craving meat between a fresh bun. Jimmy John's is perfect for that in-between-er that is legitimately hungry but also has had about 12 beers.
8. Domino's: Level 6
Pizza is always a good choice when it comes to drunk food; however, you gotta be able to actually make it to Domino's in order to receive said pizza. It may seem like a far trek, but if you're at a reasonable level of drunk, the walk should be no problem.
9. D.P. Dough: Level 8
This drunk food option comes with a lot of risk, but the reward is so sweet. After ordering a freshly made calzone stuffed with the greasiest options possible, it becomes a waiting game. The time ticks on slowly as you sit there trying not to pass out for 45 minutes to an hour. When that delivery person finally arrives, what awaits inside that white and red box comes with a satisfaction like no other.
10. Good Fellas: Level 9
Like I mentioned before, pizza at 2 A.M. never disappoints. This big block of dough and cheese will absorb that stomach full of alcohol and have you feeling great. It may not be the best pizza on a regular night, but when the lights come on in the bars, everyone rushes to get in line for Good Fella's. If you get there early enough, you can even be lucky enough to score the eating area by the window and slump over your pizza while other students pass by feeling envious of you.
