I've been told over and over that I'm too much for someone. Do you realize how horrible that can make someone feel? I can go from talking to you everyday to terrified to say "hi" because I don't want to be annoying. Relationships are terrifying to me and I hate the idea of falling hard for someone and them just leaving.
Going into a new relationship is hard enough, but with the hardships and heartaches of the last relationship creeping in, they're terrifying. Guys don't get that you can be fully over someone else and then the moment the new partner does something similar or says something, you're triggered.
When they say, "We should talk about this before our relationship goes too deep" or "I just want you to know that I don't like when a girl is 'too much.'" What does that even mean? How can any girl be too much? Easy. You're in the right spot in your life to dive in and give this relationship everything you have because you're not in it for the games. No girl at 23-26 starts a relationship with a man not having the future in their minds. WE ALL HAVE IT. We are built on wanting a future with someone, and to be honest, it's not a bad thing at all.
I have been in two serious relationships in my entire life, both I saw a future and the boy didn't. I let them tell me I was crazy, I was too much, expected too much and longed for something I wouldn't find. NEWS FLASH. This isn't a new concept girls just magically came up with. Did you ever stop and ask your mom how old she was when she married your dad or gave birth to you? She's most likely going to say somewhere between 22-25. Boom. The age of your dating pool.
I totally get it, you're young, you want to go to the bars late, you want to see how many girls you can get, but is that ever enough?
Don't get me wrong, I love a good night out with friends and getting way too drunk, but I love the idea of coming home after work and having someone there to greet you and ask you how your day was. YOU CAN HAVE BOTH. That's the best of both worlds: having someone to not only go out and get wild with, but that same person is the face you get to come home to everyday.
Knowing men, they probably had that at one point and then they began to grow further apart from their girl. Why? Because she showed signs of being "too much," also known as, she wanted a future and was falling in love with you.
I always thought I was just not enough, and that goes hand in hand with being too much. You're too needy, sweet, don't know how to say no, you want them to talk to you all the time, and worst of all, you expect them to actually want to be with you. We're the worst, I know.
When you start a new relationship, you may not see what the girl sees, she looks at you and wonders if you're going to the be one that's different. Being ripped down over and over can get exhausting and become depressing. You don't think about the things you've said to her that may have brought her so low, but then again, maybe you know exactly why she's like this.
I had a horrible break up about two years ago and I'd like to say I didn't bring any of the negative energy into my new one, but I did. My guard is up and I don't want to let it down in fear I'll be told the same things.
Being too much isn't a bad thing, and you should never say it to any female. We know what we want out of a relationship and we know that at the end of the day, you want it too.
Shying away from your feelings and telling her she's too this or that isn't going to do anything but create a little monster inside of your girl. She'll go into everything she does, wondering if she's too much of something.