To The Girl Who's "Too Giving"

To The Girl Who's "Too Giving"

Don't give everything you have to people who don't deserve it.
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You've spent your entire life being taught that you should be there for your friends and always be willing to lend a helping hand. At some point, however, that helping hand has turned into giving people the last surviving piece of your heart and you've destroyed yourself in the process. You've always thought this is okay, and you'll continue to think that until it kills you.

So, a small piece of advice; stop. Stop letting people tear you apart and have the last of you. You MUST learn to save some of it for yourself. Take a pizza for example. You and your friend split the cost of the pizza half and half but when it finally arrives, you decide to give the entire pizza to your friend. This is fine the first time, the first couple of times even. Then, eventually, you start running out of money and starve because you just can't stop giving. There comes a point when it's not worth it anymore.

Another thing; when are your friends going to start to give back? You spend every second of every single day making sure to do everything in your power to keep your friends happy and in a good place. You give and give and give but when do they come around and support you for a change? When do they reach their hand out to hold you up?

When you are losing a piece of yourself to them every single day, it's their responsibility to give a piece of you back when you need them the absolute most. Make sure that if you're going to give away everything you have, you are giving it to the right people who will eventually return the favor. An even exchange of lending a hand is an essential to having a successful friendship.

Don't get me wrong, giving is a good thing. Being there for your friends when they need you is a good thing. It may possibly be the most rewarding feeling that you'll ever feel in your entire life. However, treating yourself is also a good thing. Taking time to yourself is a good thing. Saying no to something that you don't want to do is a good thing.You're all too willing to give to your friends so why are you less willing to give to yourself?

If your friends can't give back to you, learn to give back to yourself. In the end, it's all about what's best for you and how you're going to get through this crazy thing we like to call life. Take it from a girl who knows this situation all too well, you are what's most important. Friendships can come and go so be sure to save some of your love and caring for yourself before you give everything to people who never deserved the tiniest bit of it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Became My Sister

Love is thicker than blood.
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Sis,

There are friends. Then, there are best friends.

According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.

As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.

The family we choose. You’re one of those.

The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.

First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.

Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.

Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.

We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.

You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.

You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.

You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.

You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.

I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.

With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.

We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.

Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.

Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.

We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.

I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Love you forever,

Your sis

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7 Things I Wish I'd Figured Out Sooner

Reflections from a high school senior...
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The first day of freshman year, I tripped walking up the stairs and face-planted in front of a group of seniors. As it turns out, this was NOT the time to debut my brand new platform wedges. Thankfully, I've matured a lot since that fateful day; here are seven things I wish I'd figured out sooner:

1. Friendships change, but that’s alright.

You are never obligated to maintain toxic relationships; instead, figure out who makes you truly happy and reach out to them.

2. Keep an open mind.

I used to judge people based on just one or two interactions. Now, four years later, I have learned that first impressions are usually inaccurate and it’s important to give people a second chance. That girl who was rude to you in Sophomore chem class? Yeah, it’s time to let that grudge go.

3. Your grades are important, but they're not everything.

Success should never come at the expense of your happiness or well-being.

4. A good night of sleep can cure almost everything.

Coming down with a cold? Sleep. Overworked? Sleep. Drama? Yep… sleep it off! Almost anything that ails you can be fixed with a solid eight hours; at the end of the day, is your health really worth another episode of “How To Get Away With Murder.”

5. Give yourself a break.

Take a mental health day every once in a while. (No… this is not the same as playing hooky…) Sleep until 10. Trade your contacts for your glasses. Watch that movie you’ve had your eye on. This is your day to treat yourself.

6. Don't do something just because you think it will look good on a college application.

It sounds cliché, but schools really do want to see you pursuing whatever classes and extracurricular activities interest YOU. There is no mold of what the perfect candidate looks like; it’s up to you to mold yourself into the person you want to be.

7. You are not what other people think of you.

This is a big one, and incredibly difficult to learn. Like it or not, what our peers think of us often inform how we think of ourselves. When you learn to let go of opinions and expectations that are not your own, it’s incredibly liberating. Be who you are and never, ever apologize for it.

Cover Image Credit: Austin Chan

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