Friendzoning

7 Reasons Or Situations You Might Find Yourself Friendzoning Others

A message to those of us who quickly decide if someone is a friend or potentially something more.

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Everyone once in a while comes across a particular person who may have interest in them, but would rather prefer to be friends with them rather than something more. But, when that occurs, is it always the wisest decision to classify them as just friends? How do you know?

Here are 7 reasons why you may friendzone someone.

1. You Feel It Is Easier To Just Be Friends

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You may feel that being friends is less stressful and less time-consuming, but our friends should be almost as important as our romantic relationships. In other words, being friends should not be considered a consolation prize. So, friendzoning someone does not automatically make the nature of the relationship change.

2. Afraid Of The Unknown

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You may be inclined to just be friends and not something more, because you feel that it may not work out that way. That feeling is a normal one. It is not uncommon to have a few reservations before forming a nonplatonic relationship, which is why most people do not get married at first sight. Things take time. Things could very well work out, but if you unilaterally friendzone someone, you will never know.

3. They Do Not Fit The Mold

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You may actually like this person a bit more than just a friend, but because they do not necessarily fit your expectations for a partner, you label them as just a friend. Expectations are very tricky, because it may exemplify your values, but limit you in scope. You may not like pickles, and are reluctant to try relish. But, finally one day you try relish, and love it. Sometimes you do not know if you like something or someone, until you try.

4. You Do Not Feel Ready

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You may not feel ready to jump into a nonplatonic relationship at the time, so positioning someone as just a friend may be a way of protecting yourself. No one should do anything they do not feel ready to do. But, sometimes, when we wait, we miss out. If, for example, you are still dealing with the fallout of a break-up, you may not want to get involved with anyone else right now. You may be closing yourself off, while the person who could very well make you happy long-term begins to retreat further away. And, often times, a part of you never fully gets over that previous breakup. So, waiting, can be forever.

5. They Do Not Seem Ready

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Sometimes we friendzone someone because we do not think they are ready to be involved in something more. But, people should never invest in assumptions. If there is an open dialogue and constant communication, you and the other person should know where you stand. Answering your own questions in your head can sometimes lead to a game of chicken. You may friendzone them because you do not think they are ready, they may friendzone you because they think you are not ready. Maybe you should know more about the other, before you decide.

6. You Have Experienced It

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If you have been friendzoned several times, you may find it normal to friendzone others. Sometimes, people need an ego boost, and being able to keep someone who they know who likes them at arm-length, seems to make them feel better. But, that is often very inconsiderate and could be hurtful to that person. Remember how you felt when it happened to you.

7. You Do Not Know What You Want.

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You may decide that a particular person should just be a friend, because you are not sure what you want. Ambivalence is more pervasive than not. A lot of people do know what they want, so it is important to be open-minded. When confronted in a situation where you feel you need to decide about a particular person, be mindful of your ambivalence, and take that into account when deciding.

Think about this all.

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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50 Compliments To Give Today

Because why not?

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We all have those days that just feel like nothing is going our way. I think a lot of the time, though, we forget that others out there are living just like us and we all get so busy and caught up in our own lives and problems that we don't point out all the things we love about those around us. Today, take some time to stop and give someone you know, love, or even a stranger a compliment today, because why not?

1. You look great today.

2. Your hair looks amazing!

3. You have the coolest style.

4. I wish more people were like you!

5. You're always so fun to be around.

6. You're stunning.

7. You inspire me.

8. You always have the best ideas.

9. You know exactly what to say.

10. You are gorgeous and that is the least interesting thing about you.

11. Anyone would be lucky to know you.

12. I've never seen you look bad.

13. Being around you is so refreshing.

14. You have the best smile!

15. You make me want to see the best in people.

16. You're such a strong person.

17. I admire you. 

18. I love your motivation!

19. You are GOING places!

20. Your smile is contagious.

21. Is there anything you can't do?

22. You're such an incredible friend.

23. You're so smart!

24. You're so good at what you do.

25. I'm blessed to know you.

26. You absolutely light up any room.

27. You should be proud of yourself!

28. You're a ray of sunshine.

29. You bring out the best in everyone you meet!

30. You're doing a great job!

31. I think you're great.

32. You are a breath of fresh air.

33. You're SO funny!

34. You are my reason for smiling.

35. I appreciate you.

36. You're so creative.

37. You have a good head on your shoulders.

38. I bet your parents are really proud of you.

39. You're such a great example to others!

40. This world is better because of you. 

41. Your eyes are amazing.

42. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to know you.

43. You are seriously such a perfect human.

44. You're glowing!

45. You're so unique in all the best ways.

46. You're worthy and valuable of people's time.

47. I've never met someone as ambitious and aware as you.

48. You're dependable.

49. You're super sunshiney!

50. There is no one else like you. 

Make someone's day a little brighter. It's as easy as 2 words.

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