friendship

Your Friendships Should Be Almost As Important As Your Romantic Relationships

The realization that we often neglect our friends when forming a new romantic relationship.

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We have all experienced a time when our close friends have ditched us for some lady or guy. Sometimes it bothers us, and other times we begin to not care. Some of us are even guilty of ditching our best friends, ourselves. The issue with this whole situation is that it chips away at the value of that friendship.

When beginning to date or court someone, we often rely on our best friends for confidence, guidance, and even support. And since they are our best friends, they are willing to provide all three of those things to us.

Best friends, even, encourage us to pursue a relationship with a particular person. They would act as our wingman, speak on our behalf, and aid us with liquid courage. And once things are set in motion and seem to be going well, they take a foot step back.

The thing is that they only stepped back, they did not leave. But we often leave them. We often ignore them.

We get swept away with infatuation and desire and prioritize the new relationship we are forming over the ones that already exist. But that is common and natural. When a mother has a new baby, she allocates more time to that baby over other children initially, because that new baby needs nurturing and a lot of attention. That is kind of what we do when forming a new romantic relationship.

We initially give more nurture and attention to this person, so that they understand our intentions and feel secure in this new relationship.

However, we often forget to include and maintain the friendships that helped us get to that point. Why is it that we desperately need our best friends to help us get the lady or the guy, but then do not really need them as much after that? What happened to that energy?

Is it possible that our best friends helped us find their replacement? Or is it that we just did not realize what was happening while it was happening?

It may be all of that.

I expect some people would argue that the relationships are different and should be treated differently. And I would agree with that. One relationship likely involves a lot more intimacy than the other, so time and focus are inclined to lean in that direction.

But then what happens when we break-up or things get tough with that person we were so infatuated and intimate with?

We try to go back to those friends, expecting them to resume the confidence, guidance, and support they gave us prior to this relationship. And the crazy thing is that some friends, welcome you back with open arms because they can relate or because of the familiarity of the friendship.

But I am convinced that it never goes back to the way it was.

The value of that friendship chipped away a bit. It may not even be noticeable right away. The frame of the friendship could actually look the same, but deep down it may not be.

And that is because when another new person comes around, how do we know we will not act the same way as last time?

I believe the romantic relationships we form are important and require a lot of energy to last, but our best friends need to always be just a foot step back, and not ignored.

If you want a romantic relationship with me, my best friends come with that package.

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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To My Long-Distance Best Friend, We Might Be 7,811 Miles Apart, But Our Friendship Only Gets Stronger

It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

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To my best friend,

It has been 270 days since I last met you and 206 more days until I meet you again. People say that time flies by quickly, but these have been the most difficult days that seemed to drag on forever. Five years ago when you were sitting next to me on the first day of our sociology class, I had no idea we would end up being best friends. From sharing my mother's parathas during lunch breaks to the countless sleepovers, I will never forget all the memories we created throughout high school.

I vividly remember the day I told you I would be studying abroad. You were so happy and proud of me for pursuing my dreams but also upset that we wouldn't be seeing each other every now and then. I was worried if our friendship would even last. But we have spent almost two years away from each other and our friendship only seems to get stronger.

I'm so grateful to technology for allowing us to be in touch all the time. My day doesn't feel complete if I do not receive a text from you. I know we do not video call often because of how busy our schedules are (another reason being time zones suck and I cannot do the math), but always know that I am there for you. It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

We have both had some terrible friendship experiences in our past before we met each other that have completely broken our faith in friendships. But know that you can always count on me and that I will never leave your side. Know that I will always set an alarm early in the morning just to video call you. Know that I will always be there for you (even if I'm not physically present around you). Know that you will always be the first person I share everything with.

I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. Thank you for encouraging me to make new friends at college. Thank you for always being there during my failures and reminding me that it's not the end of the world and that more opportunities will come my way. Thank you for being there during my successes and being my number one cheerleader. Thank you for always reminding me to love myself. You not only have a special place in my heart but also have a special place in my family. My mother and sister not only glad that I have a best friend like you but also adore you so much. It is impossible to imagine a life without you.

I cannot wait for more butter chicken sleepover dates in December!

Lots of love,

Your best friend.

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