As a server, I deal with a lot of bullshit. But you; you have been, without a doubt, the worst customer I have ever had. From the snarky remarks to throwing food at me, never have I ever had such disrespect all come from one table. I do not know your name or how you were raised, but to be a grown man and treat your server like this is not how anyone is raised.

At first, everything was fine and you were pleasant towards me. I greeted you and you made jokes with me and ordered your drinks. I bring them to you and you order you and your families meal. Please understand that it is my job to repeat the order to you to make sure that I get it right and will not have to take anything back when your food comes out. So I repeat your order back to you and you change your order from two salads to one salad split on two plates and an appetizer split on two plates as well. So I repeat the new order and you very huffily say “Yes.”. That is when it started. Little did I know, but it was going to be downhill from there.

I bring your food out to you and you kindly ask for an extra plate, then refer to one of the appetizer plates that the restaurant sets the tables with as the plate you were requesting. I ran to the kitchen to get an appetizer plate and bring it back to you. You then yell at me saying that “The plate is too small!” and “I want another plate! A different one!” like a small child throwing a tantrum. I then take the plate back and get a slightly bigger plate; to which you almost send back for the same reason until I explain to you that it does indeed look small, but it is deep so it can hold a lot. I then leave you alone to enjoy your meal.

I come back to check on you to see if anything was to your liking, luckily for me it was. But then it came time for me to start taking dirty plates out of your way. I take the salad bowl from in front of you and I did not notice that there was still a piece of lettuce on the table. You could have just said “Excuse me, Miss!”, “Oh wait there’s still some food!”, or literally any other form of communication. But no, when I turned to get your, I assume, wife’s plate, you throw the lettuce at me and it hits my arm. I clean off my arm and bus the rest of your plates.

When I give you your ticket you snatch it away from me and I carry on. While I am spying on you to see if you put your method of payment in the book yet, I see another person at the table put in $30. Knowing that your bill is at about $75 I keep spying. When I see you put your credit card I make my way over. “There’s some money in there.” You mumble to me. I knew that you were not going to tip me that bug, if at all, so I ask: “Do you want me to pay with the cash and put the rest on the card, sir?” You look at me huff, and rudely say: “Pay with the cash and put the rest on the card!” So, exactly what I just asked you but without the bitch attitude? Got it! (Granted I did not actually say this. I nodded and ran the card.)

Most parents teach their children to never date someone who is rude to a waiter. So I do not have any possible, understandable clue as to how you were surrounded by three women who seemed to care about you a great deal. They were all kind towards me but, for whatever reason, you were not. Please do not reproduce as I do not wish another generation of such callous upon anyone. And please, let’s not meet ever again.