I had pressed snooze three times too many when I jumped out of bed and frantically threw my hair into a ponytail.
I hadn't slept through the night in days. I had two tests, three papers and an online homework assignment due by the end of the week. I was so late that I didn't even have time for coffee. It's bound to be a bad day when you don't have time for coffee. I finally got to campus only to discover that there were no parking spots remotely close to my class.
At this point, there was no denying that I would be awkwardly walking in late to a class of 200 people.
The sun was shining and it was over 50 degrees for the first time in months. I realized that I could go late to class and continue to let my day be terrible, or I could leave campus, skip my classes and take the day's fate into my own hands. I turned my car around.
The day was mine. I had so many options of things to do. I could binge watch Netflix or take the world's longest bath. I could study for my tests, write one of my papers or do my online assignments. I could sleep all day because I was in dire need of a good nap, but I realized that none of these things could give me the kind of healing rest that my body needed.
I picked up my closest friends and drove an hour away to our favorite hiking spot. We hiked for a while, ate our lunch and just talked about our life. We hung my eno over a waterfall and laughed about everything. This was the kind of cleansing, stress-free rest that I needed. For the first time in a long time I wasn't worried about the tests or the homework.
I wasn't worried about money or finding a job. The biggest worry I had was how bad it would hurt if my eno fell from the tree. I hadn't realized that I had been so stressed until this day. Do you know how freeing it was to have a weight lifted off of my shoulders that I didn't even know I had? It was liberating.
My point is not to tell you to stop caring about your classes. It's not to tell you that it's OK to not have a job. I'm not telling you not to study for your test or to ignore your homework. What I am telling you is that it's OK to put yourself before these things. I eventually studied for the tests. I wrote the papers. I finished my homework. I made it. All of my problems became lesser when I let myself become more.
Take care of yourself. Sometimes you need more than an hour to get yourself together. Sometimes you need more than a nap to be OK. You are more important than the problems that you are faced with. Let your heart rest.
Sleep doesn't help when it is your soul that's tired.
