My mom’s favorite question this summer has been, “Are you sure you want to go to college?” After I reassure her that I do, I usually get a “you know you want to be homeschooled for college,” said in the most sing-songy way possible. There are also days filled with “don’t leave me” and “CACC is so close” and “you don’t HAVE to live in Birmingham.” Well mom, to answer some of your questions and pleas, I still want to go to college, I’m not going to be homeschooled, and I do HAVE to live in Birmingham. All joking aside (not that my answers are jokes), I know how hard this summer has been for you and I know how hard this next semester will be. With that being said, this one is for you.
First things first, I want to say thank you. Thank you for letting me in your life 18 years ago. Thank you for being my best friend throughout those 18 years. You taught me what grace in the face of adversity is. You never treated me like my opinion was lesser in value than those of the people older than me. You taught me to love others, no matter the circumstance, and for that, I’m forever grateful. Thank you for standing by my side these past 2 years as my arm and athletic future became a jumbled mess. Thank you for the late night talks, midnight premiers, and every little small thing we did together. You love me like a mother should, and I’ll never have the proper words to thank you for that.
Next, know that I am going to miss you. I know that I get all excited when we talk about move-in day and what my first few weeks will be like, but please know that I’m not excited to leave you. Awhile back, you told someone that I had really become more independent this past year due to your work schedule and dad’s work schedule. While this is true, I want to make sure you are aware that I still need you. I’m still going to call you when I’m upset or something good or funny happens. I’m still going to lean on you when things aren’t going well and I’m still going to want you there when things are going great. There’s a line in a Taylor Swift song that says:
I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine
I think it sums up how I feel about this next chapter with you perfectly. You push me to do what I’m scared to. You’re in the crowd at every All-State concert and softball game. And you’re always taking pictures and cheering me on. I can’t wait to have you by my side at every turn in the road this next year.
Lastly, I want you to know that there will be bad days and I won’t always have the patience to tolerate or deal with my problems. I’m going to need your support to get me through those days. I’m going to need your understanding when I make a mistake and I’m definitely going to need your guidance and love. We’ve never had a fight, and I’d like to keep our record clean. I love you, mom. Here’s to the next four years with you by my side.
