To the woman after me, I genuinely hope you are happy. I genuinely hope he makes you feel beautiful, confident, and loved.
To the woman after me, I hope he is not making you feel the way I felt. I knew I was not mentally ready to step into a relationship yet, but his words won me over. He told me he went to church and even spoke bible verses over me. Yet I crossed paths with his ex and I believe that is where the lies began.
To the woman after me, he told me his ex was crazy. He took me to the shooting range, like he did her and I am sure like he did you. He has probably told you that I am crazy. In the beginning of our relationship he hid me from people around him and on social media. He can convince you and manipulate your thoughts really well too. The relationship seemed mature at first, but we would be in the same room and I would still feel alone. This was the most insecure I have ever felt.
To the woman after me, I hope he makes you smile. I hope you are his first priority. I was not. I would have nightmares and try to wake him up in the middle of the night. Instead of comforting me, he told me he had work in the morning and went back to sleep. He was never really good at comforting.
To the woman after me, he can be aggressive at times. He held on to my arms so tight when we fought that he left bruises on me. I hope he does not do this to you.
To the woman after me, I became a completely different person when I was with him. He made me feel like I had to match a certain profile or look. I always seemed to fail his expectations. He is young, yet never wanted to go out or even take me out on dates. I came to a breaking point and almost ended my life in that very apartment you find yourself in with him now. His reaction to that was mad and angry. He didn't comfort, hug me, or tell me he loved me. In fact, he said if I "did that again" that he would break up with me. I hope you never feel like this.
To the woman after me, he told me you and him look at my profile on social media and laugh. I pray you are not included in this. If I were in your shoes I would begin to feel insecure and wonder why my partner has to look at his ex's profile to feel a "satisfaction".
To the woman after me, I know he has probably told you all kinds of terrible things about me. Things that do not match up with my heart and situations that you blame me for his "hurt". I want you to know I am here for you. I want you to know that you are beautiful and worthy and I hope he reminds you of that. I hope you do not feel the same loneliness as I did. I pray that he is not hiding things like he did with me.
Though my past relationships are seen as toxic, women have to stick together. Women empower women.
To the man in my past, treat her well. Because more than likely, you don't deserve her.
