There's some people who get excited over every little thing and cannot wait for whatever event to happen, and then there's people like me who can't relate at all. There's a multitude of reasons why some people don't let themselves get excited about the idea of future things. The main one for me is the pain that comes with it not following through and getting all worked up for nothing.

Now, this could just be some anxiety taking over because of the fear of the unknown, not knowing exactly how things will play out. I'm not denying that doesn't have any play here for those of us that can't get excited, but I feel like there are some other more emotional reasons behind it.

For example, it sucks, like that heart dropping into your stomach feeling, when you get excited for something just for it to not happen. Now, of course, I'm talking about big deal type of events: anniversaries, trips, and new work and school possibilities. It somehow hurts more when you want something to happen than when you just tell yourself it won't happen in the first place. Relief will always feel better than disappointment in literally every circumstance.

For those of us who are guilty of forcing ourselves to not get excited, we know how frustrating it is to those we are close to, both to family and friends. And yes I can see how annoyingly frustrating it must be to try to plan something with someone who will never let you know how excited they are to do it, because they are too scared for it to not happen.

Yes it is an extremely needy habit to have, making those around us have to comfort us with every single detail of a trip and make sure it is aligned in such a way that it is utter fool proof, but it is one that took a very long time full of heartbreak and disappointment to make and it will probably take even longer, even if it's full of good times, to go away.