We get it, you probably think we are looking for attention when we say we struggle, and that no matter how hard we try, we still do not do the best or nearly half the best we could of.
We are NOT looking for attention. Honestly, it is embarrassing and the fact that we do struggle makes us feel less superior to people that do not.
Yes, everyone struggles in school. But, we are the students that will study for a test a week before, and get the results that do not even say a 75, it will say a 42. And that hurts. It physically hurts because you feel like you have failed tremendously. You feel as though you are not enough, and the time and effort you put in was a waste.
We seek extra help. We are the most concerned about our grades. We do not want to fail, we want to succeed. We will talk to teachers, ask them the best possible solutions for the class, and we will try and make an even bigger effort than we have been.
Sometimes we get lucky with a test grade that has reached our goal of "smart". When that happens it is one of the best feelings in the world. Because at that moment in time we feel "normal" and we feel like we are not drowning anymore. We also do not feel alone or less superior.
Homework is our biggest savior. And we are always confused when students do not decide to do their homework. Doing your homework not only boosts your average, but it helps you understand the material that needs to be drilled in your brain for the class.
We envy the students that do not need to study and still get a 92. It is hard enough watching ourselves fail miserably. But we find it unfair that some people do not even need to pick up an index card or highlighter to do some ounce of studying.
We cry, are upset with ourselves, or completely shut down at least two to four times a week. It is not easy and when you get emails that say you are not performing to the best of your ability from teachers it hurts.
We are thankful for the friends and family that support us. We cannot thank you all enough for continually trying to spread positive energy throughout our bodies. We know that sometimes we get frustrated with you but trust me you are our biggest supporters and your "you got this, keep going" texts really help.
It is not easy, but it is not impossible. And we personally believe struggling in school makes us stronger. Pushing ourselves gets tough sometimes, but we never give up. We are all in this together and sometimes we forget that. School does not come easy for some people, and we have known this since we were little, and now students in college.
We've got this, we are going to get through this, we always do.
