I know you. I know how you look at yourself. You get anything lower than a “A” and your world is falling apart. Perfection is your middle name and people do not seem to understand why you care so much about the percentage or the letter grade attached to your transcript.

It just doesn’t make sense.

I’ve been in your shoes. Hell, I am still currently suffering.

You have parents that are all over your grades; telling you that if you don’t get straight “A’s” you will not get into the college you want. If you don’t get straight “A’s”, graduate schools will not take you seriously. If you don’t get straight “A’s” you are a disappointment.

Not only have your parents put outside pressure and stress on you to be successful, but now, you have personally put that stress on yourself. You have been taught success is measured by your grades and GPA; therefore, you live it every single day.

I know you. I understand your struggles. I understand your pain. I understand your stress.

You’re struggling because life is a beautiful struggle and sometimes even when you think you have it all together, you don’t. There are nights where you cry because you cannot seem to understand the content or no matter how hard you try you can never get above a “C” in your Geography class. You’re fearful of what will come of your grade and coming to realization that that “A” you were shooting for is no longer in sight.

Let me give you a peace of mind.

Your 4.0 is not going to matter ten years from now. Sure, it will get you scholarships and into your colleges; but it’s not going to help you land your first job. It’s not going to get your friends or significant others. It is not going to define who you are as a person. Your 4.0 doesn’t show anything other than you have mastered the art of being a student—a conforming robot who spits out what your teachers and professors want to hear.

Your GPA is not your identity. Take a step back and understand that it’s just another number.

It’s okay if you don’t have an “A” in every class. It’s okay to welcome failure, because you are going to experience it throughout your life. But through every trial, you will become a stronger person.

You’re young. You’re in your late teens, early twenties. You’re going to experience many trials and tribulations, but you will not be defined by them. You will be refined by them.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” –Samuel Beckett

Fail better. Fail better. Fail better.

Life is a never-ending learning experience. It’s a process. You are never going to understand everything on the first try. You are going to have to try, try again. You are going to have to fail, and from that failure find your success.

Life is about living out both the good and the bad. It’s about trying, and trying again. It’s about failing and failing better to show you who you are and the strength that resides within you.

I know you. I know your academic life is not easy, and has scarified many relationships in your life. I know you’re stressed, but I know it will get better. I know you will overcome your struggles and come out stronger. I know you will be successful, even if you don’t have a 4.0.

Strive to be the best you can be. Strive for perfection, but know that nothing in life is ever perfect. Strive to fail better—to live, to learn, to love and find that solace and reassurance that you are so much more that a number.