I always thought that the roads didn't need to align perfectly when it came to love. They could be crooked, filled with potholes and no signs in sight, and I'd still end up with the man that I was so infatuated with. The truth is, no matter how much I wanted my path to align with his, there were so many obstacles that made it impossible.

Sometimes I sat in bed at night for hours, unable to sleep, thinking about things I could have done to put fate on our side. If I wouldn't have changed my major, I would have been done with school by now, or if a job opportunity presented itself to me, I could've been closer to him. I was so hard on myself for things that were out of my control because that's exactly what they were. I could not change them, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I could.

I kept a journal of my breakup as soon as it happened. It wasn't even technically a break up because this man and I were never actually official. We did things that couples do, and I loved him. In my heart, it was more of a breakup than I had ever experienced before and I'll never let anyone tell me otherwise.

I went through the different emotions you feel after a breakup. I was in denial at first. I was unable to come to terms with the fact that two people who loved one another sometimes couldn't actually make it work when everything else didn't fall into place.

Then I moved onto anger. I was so mad and upset that a man who I would have done anything for could've walked away without attempting to find a solution to fix our crooked paths.

Next came bargaining. I prayed to God every night, telling him I'd start going to church again, I'd go out of my way to help people that weren't worthy, as long as in return he'd change the outcome of my path.

Then-after seeing my path was staying the same, I got depressed. It was a depression that sucked me in to the deepest pit. No one could fix it, and I felt too trapped to attempt talking about it to the ones closest to me.

After what seemed like an eternity, I accepted it. I accepted that our paths would never cross again and I forced myself to move on.

With grieving, I found that I became someone I didn't recognize. Someone not even he would've recognized.

Comparing this journal from then to now is something I can't explain. The emotions I felt and the fear that resided in me, scared me then and scares me even more now-knowing these feelings could at any moment be felt again with the new man I love.

I look back knowing that I couldn't have changed it. No matter how hard I wanted him to try, even if he had, you can't force your path to turn. You can't build a new path no matter how hard you try. Our paths were already created for us, and the only thing we have left to do is walk them. If I feel anything at all now, it's closure.

When you love someone, and it ends abruptly, you try to find closure in everything you possibly can. Whether that's looking for a sign or trying to get someone else to give it to you. You never once think that the closure you need was right in front of you the whole time. Hell, you may never come to terms with that-but I had to.

My path did not align with the man that I once loved. He lived too far away, he had years on his life that I still hadn't experienced, he was ready for a family and I was still getting use to handling myself alone. I was young and immature, and he was busy and at times too self absorbed. We could never be together-not because the feelings weren't there, but because our paths weren't.

I'll never forget this man, and I'll always want nothing but the best for him. Even if one day our paths come back close together, I know they were never intended to cross again. I thank God for allowing me to see that not everyone who falls onto your path is meant to stay.