Growing up there was always something I wanted to change about myself. As I got older, I realized that was the case for most people. We all have something we wish we could change to make ourselves better; whether it's something physical like the color of our hair or something more personal like wanting to break out of your shell and not be shy. It took me a while to learn to love the person I was. I realized that I wanted to change who I was to benefit other people. I wanted to be the girl everyone liked instead of being myself. But how could anyone like me when I didn't even like myself?
I have always been a shy girl. I never really talked to people unless they talked to me first. Because I was so shy, it resulted in me also being really awkward. I hated that I couldn't even talk to people without being tense and nervous. I hated it even more knowing that my brother, being the social butterfly he is, was so easily able to talk to strangers and be able to carry out a full conversation. One day I hit the point where I wanted to be just like him. I slowly started to become more social. If I met someone I would talk to them as if I had known them my whole life. I realized it was easier to keep a conversation flowing with this mindset. I applied this to my everyday life and became more social and less awkward.
Wanting to change is totally normal. I've been in both positions, wanting not only to change for myself but to be the girl everyone wanted to be. I know just how hard it might be trying to love yourself. But changing yourself to be more likable, or for a guy you want to impress is degrading to the wonderful person you really are. Everyone is unique and changing yourself to be like someone else is foolish. However, if you decide to change for yourself so that you can grow to be better, you must be willing to work to achieve the goal.
It can be really hard to introduce the change into your everyday life. You might wake up one day with it on your mind and be dead set on changing an aspect of yourself. You might wake up the next day, totally forgetting to include that change. One of my favorite quotes is, "wanting to change is step one, but step two is taking it." This quote means so much to me because it made me realize that I'm the only one who can change something about myself. If I want it enough, eventually I can achieve it.
I saw something about myself that I didn't like and couldn't live with anymore. One thing you may hate about yourself, another person could love about you. Don't change something about you unless you know you will never grow to love it. That's one piece of advice I wish I had known at the time.
