If I said I didn’t miss you, I’d be lying. In fact, I think about you almost every day. I miss the good times, and I don't regret anything about our relationship, but I no longer need you. That may hurt you to hear, but it’s the truth.
We were best friends. I considered you a sister. Everyone told me that you were no good for me, but I didn't want to believe them. I couldn’t believe them. How could someone I was so close to, someone who meant so much to me, be that bad?
You were, though. You were horrible for me, and I was horrible for you too. I am not completely innocent in this mess, and you are not a complete monster. We are both to blame for our falling out.
We became toxic for each other. Our actions no longer benefited one other. We weren’t even benefiting ourselves anymore. Unfortunately, the storm kept growing and there was no way for us to escape it.
It wasn’t all bad, though. I miss talking about our futures, and about our kids growing up and being best friends. There are times when something happens and I want to call you and tell you, but then I remember I can’t do that anymore. We talked about doing so much. None of that will ever happen now.
Like I said, I don’t regret any of it. I still remember the last time we talked, the last thing you said to me and why it had to end. I remember why our friendship was damaged beyond repair.
For a while, I hated you. I could not listen to your favorite musical artists. I couldn’t be reminded of you. I hated what you did to me. I hated that you broke me. I hated that the things we were doing made me hate myself to the point where I had to change my appearance because I could no longer look myself in the mirror. Most of all, I hated that you broke your promise to me and left.
I know you leaving was the best thing for both of us. Thank you for being strong enough to leave because I could never have done that.
I still think about you and your family. I wish you all the best. I hope you are all doing well and that you are happy. I hope you found a new best friend. I hope you found someone who is able to be for you what I was incapable of being.
Most importantly, I want to thank you. Thank you for all of the bad times as well as all of the good. Thank you for welcoming me into your family. Thank you for being there for me when I wasn’t able to be there for myself. Thank you for teaching me that, even though it’s scary, I can stand on my own. Most importantly, thank you for teaching me that I can’t really trust anyone except for myself. Fortunately, I was able to find a few good people to call real friends, who have broken through the walls you made me build up. I hope you have found those kind of people too.
Sincerely,
Your former best friend forever.
