Sigh. I've been meaning to write this for a while, but it has taken a few weeks to grasp the emotions I've felt. So here we go.

Dear You,

You never really knew how much you actually meant to me. You were mundane, and ordinary, that's true. An average smile, average mind, but somehow you meant so much more than the rest of the ordinary people in this world. But in my eyes, you were at the time everything my mind could have ever imagined. It seemed for once in my life I had someone that could finally relate to me. My teenage/young adult angst seemed to have finally met its match. You were, in the least cheesy way to say it, my knight in shining armor, as you seemed to be what I have always needed. But oh boy, I was wrong.

When I thought you were there for me, you were really there to get the latest scoop on all the drama, or you were in it just for yourself. Anything that would benefit you, you were there for. You cared more for the information I was trusted with, than the person you were dealing with. It is so, so hard to succumb to the fact that I was nothing more than a bank of information, to which you robbed and emptied out until you were satisfied.

Caring more than you hurts more than I can even put into words. It seems that my efforts to keep you around did nothing more than push you away, because in reality your stay in my life was only temporary. I know I am young and that there are many other people in this world, but that doesn't stop a heart feeling what it does. I was blinded by the fact that I had someone that I could relate to so much that I didn't realize that how selfish you actually were. You were selfish, because if you actually cared, you would still be here.

I made you a priority in my life, when I was just your option. There were so many times I would need you, and you would never show up. If you wanted to be in my life, you sure didn't act like it. Even though you have caused my heart to ache in a way that it never has, I also should thank you. You showed me everything that I never want to be.

I never want to make someone feel the way you made me feel. I want someone to choose me first like I chose them as a priority. I want to have someone be completely honest with me, even if it hurts to hear. And most importantly, I want someone to care for me, something that you never did.

Thank you for causing this hurt, because it has helped me grow infinitely. I can't say I want you back in my life, but I can thank you for being in it to teach me how to be a better person.

See ya never.