Hello.
It's me again. I'm sure you barely remember me. All I did was annoy you and drive you crazy by simply existing. I tried so hard to make a difference in your life, but you pushed me away. I don't think you understand the effect you had...no, I don't think you understand at all. I knew from the beginning that you were going to be a roadblock in my life, so I don't know why I didn't quit you while I was ahead. From the first smile and the first interaction, I knew that you were dangerous, and yet, here I am.
The worst part of all of this is that you didn't just flat out drop all communication and 'relationship' factors with; you pretended to care. You strung me along like fish on a line, pulling me close enough to keep me interested and then letting me go as soon as I felt caught up. However, I want you to know that I've moved on. I may have been drawn to the concept of you -- your way of keeping me on my toes and always having me hoping to see your name pop up on my phone -- but it just wasn't realistic. Our world is cruel and unforgiving, and the people in our lives are supposed to be relief from the storms, not assistants to the turmoil.
In all honesty, I think I may know why you are the way that you are. You don't understand what it's like for someone to truly care about you, therefore it freaks you out when someone shows any hint of consideration for your soul. Because of your nature, when you find yourself in confusing situations such as these, you can't help but push every ounce of light out of your life in order to hide from the insecurities that are fighting to tear out of you.
I cared so much about you, and I still do, but I can't put my heart through the constant struggle of trying to gain and maintain your attention. After a while, it's just not worth it anymore. I am not an "anytime diner." I am not a vending machine. You can't just come to me when you want something. You have to truly desire a connection, and you never did.
I hope that for your future's sake, you begin to understand the people around you and the connections that you build. Most of the people in your life right now are temporary, and they will not be by your side when the going gets tough. You will be in need and find nobody to help you because you drove away all of the people that actually care about your well-being.
I can't change you; only you can do that. The only thing that I can offer is some advice: stop selling yourself short and start pursuing the meaningful relationships that we both know you truly desire. Stop leading me on and start leaning on my shoulder in times of need. Stop investing in the wrong people and start building meaningful relationships with the people that care.
A famous movie once told us that we accept the love we think we deserve. At the end of the road, I do not deserve to be treated the way that you treat me and you do not deserve my heart.
Where do you see yourself?
Goodbye, dear friend
