Growing up you always needed someone. You needed a specific person actually-- one who you learned attachment from. You needed that person to help you. Whether it was to tie your shoes or just to tell you you're loved.
Not everyone gets that person. This letter is for that person who I needed when I was younger.
A key component in younger childhood development is attachment, and because of you not being there, I never got that. I never got that first key relationship, and it affected me down the long run.
It made me shut out everyone who tried to build something with me.
It made me feel unable to be loved and close to someone. It gives me the thoughts of "I'm not worth it," or "you didn't love me, so who will?"
It made me become self-absorbed and isolated, because I had to love myself so much. The person I needed to love me did not.
You were never there to teach me the simple things, like how to tie my shoes or how to make myself a sandwich; I just learned myself. I taught myself everyday necessities, because you didn't teach me.
But, I needed to fend for myself.
You not being there made me grow up too fast and not enjoy a normal childhood.
I needed you to love me. I needed you to be there. I needed you to play with. I needed you to care. I needed you to boast about me. I needed you to teach me.
Since it is too late now, and I grew up, I know it will heal.
I will be who someone else needs, because I know how it feels to be mistreated.
