“I can always count on you. I don’t know what I would do without you!”
If this sentence is constantly being said to you, you may be the person that everyone relies on—the one everyone trusts and can depend on. Your friends and loved ones act as if you are the backbone to their survival. You can never say no to the multiple cries for help, and you always offer support and advice. You constantly put others first and often forget about yourself.
You are basically an everyday hero, but there is one problem—you are burnt out. You feel thinner than a sheet of printing paper. You cannot handle all of the obligations that have fallen on you. Problems of others keep weighing heavier and heavier on your heart. You feel stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. You close your eyes to rest at night, yet your dreams remind you of all the people who are hurting. You wake up with a scream in your throat, but you remain silent because you must be the strong one, for everyone else’s sake. The strong never falter. The strong have no limitations. People need you, and you cannot and will not let them down.
Listen. If you continue down this route, you will eventually fall apart. It may not happen in a dramatic meltdown or a sudden instance, but it will happen, slowly. You will ignore the exhaustion until the exhaustion becomes a part of you. You will start showing signs of irritation and angst towards those you care about. People will ask you what is wrong, but you will downplay your distress because you do not want to be a bother. After being hurt because you think no one cares about or appreciates you, you will become bitterer than the blackest coffee. Your devotion and compassion towards your loved ones will fade into an irredeemable state of indifference. You will become a stubborn icicle in the spring, living your life through scoffs and resentment.
How do you prevent all of this? It’s quite simple, take care of yourself. I do not mean shower often and avoid red meat; I mean realize that you have emotional and physical limits and you should not try going beyond them. You must learn how to politely say no to people; I know that is an appalling statement, but you must. Also, remind yourself that the burdens you carry are not your own. People may pour their hearts out to you, but that does not mean that you should wallow in every problem and issue that comes your way. They are not your burdens to bear; it’s okay to leave them.
I know what you’re thinking. “How can you say such awful things! People need me!”
If you think that the world will crumble without you, then that is a little narcissistic. You are significant and people need you; however, remember that you are a person too. You need love, rest and help just as much as your friends and loved ones do.
Of course, please do not ever think that your kindness and help goes unnoticed. You may be underappreciated, but people are more thankful for you than they may ever realize. You are the reason why so many of your family and friends can wake up each morning and smile. To some, you are the only person in the world who has ever loved them. To others, you are the only one who pushed them beyond their limitations, believed in them, and inspired them to chase after happiness and success. People are grateful for you. They desperately need you to be the upright, selfless and thoughtful human being that you are, and in order continue being that person, you must be kind to yourself.
So the next time you are on the verge and someone needs something from you, say no. Just say no because you are worth it. You are not merely a pillar that everyone leans on; you are one of the few reasons that humanity still has goodness within it. Please, please, for the sake of us all, do not let your light burn out.
