If you're entering the new year with the burdens of the past on your heart, I'm sorry because I feel it. I feel the defeat from what could have been and should have been, creeping up. It sucks. Shouldn't the past stay in the past? But sometimes anxiety wins, and your chest gets tight. But that doesn't change anything? So why do we allow it to come back like a fire and ignite? We all have a past. We all have things we want to move on from. These things don't have to be bad things. Maybe they are past trials, maybe they are past failures. Hell, maybe they are the lasting affects someone from your past left on you. Whatever it be, we all have things we need (or want) to move on. If you're one of those trying to do this... this one for you.
The weight of your past can be tricky. Maybe the weight is because you're afraid of making a repeat mistake. Maybe it's because you are afraid history is going to repeat itself. If you're like me, you're afraid that the "you" you've worked so hard to build, will fall victim to the stress of life's and be brought back to that person you so hard pushed away, and changed. Maybe it's because you want something so bad, but you've wanted it before, and it didn't happen...
Whatever it may be, it's okay. Because fear is okay, being afraid is O K, it's perfectly acceptable. But what's not acceptable? Letting your anxiety win. Letting fear consume you. Letting it consume you so much that the joys of your present-day life is hindered. You've worked too hard to get this far, don't fall back. It's not fair to you!
Maybe your weight is from a past failed/toxic relationship. One that changed who you were, and took away that young, joyous laugh and smile that you've worked so hard to bring back to shore. Hell, that relationship may have caused you long talks with your therapist. But you know what?? What did it teach you? Strength like David. The faith of a mustard seed. And hope that you would one day be past it, and that time is far over due. It's time to allow yourself to be happy and allow yourself the opportunity something great because you deserve it.
Maybe it's weight from a past failure. Ask yourself these questions; did you give it your all? Did you put your best foot forward? Did you take care of yourself mentally? Whatever the answers to these questions are... use them. If you're lucky enough to have the opportunity of a second chance of this "failure" use what you learned and make it a success. Remind yourself that this failure is in the past. You are only as good as your present self, and that self is armored with the knowledge to do better.
Maybe it's the Weight of choices you made at a different time. Times change, and your circumstances do too! We are meant to change and to grow. Find peace in knowing that everything has a season, and when seasons change and so do you, so be a chameleon. Change when you, to match who you are now.
Letting go is hard, but sometimes it's the only option we have, to accomplish true self-acceptance. Learning to work and rise from our inner issues rather than having them anchor us down is the first step in moving past the things that hold us back from who we want to be.
I hope you find peace this year. I hope you leave those burdens at the cross {where they belong}. I believe that this year will be the year we have all needed. The year that sees us all the happiness we deserve. The year that God provides us our hearts desire. This year I challenge myself to finally bury the burdens of where I've been. Bury the things that I've learned from so that my true, renewed soul can continue to grow to its fullest potential. I challenge you to do the same.
Godspeed.
