I can easily admit in my junior year and senior year of high school, I made interesting choices to say the least. I wasn't always the best version of myself. I could be quite selfish quite honestly, which I recognize has driven some people away from me as a person, which I can accept now. I have a hard time grasping the fact that people continuously feel the need to remind me of my flaws. I already recognize them, and I'm beyond them now. My flaws are my flaws, and I spend day in and day out correcting them; there's no absolute way to rid them, but there are ways to make myself happier, stronger, without dragging others down.
What I've also learned, is that past mistakes involve you blaming yourself for things that you had no control over. It isn't your fault that someone hurt you so bad. That is something no one can truly comprehend. No one is perfect, and you cannot constantly think back to every single time you might've hurt someone. In the moment maybe you only had innocent intentions, and they didn't turn out the way you expected, or maybe even you did have bad intentions, and now you regret it; you cannot change the past, but you can move forward and look back upon what you have learned. I know for me personally, every time something goes wrong, I automatically think it's all my fault now. I encourage you deeply to know that the odds of that are so slim. It's irrational to think you create all this chaos.
Someday you'll have that one friend who pulls you aside, tells you they understand you, and that you truly didn't do anything wrong this time. They'll notice you're about to breakdown, but they'll be the one person who steps aside to pick you up, and sometimes they don't even realize how much they've helped you as a person.
It's people like them that you need to engage with to help you not feel so defined by silly mistakes you made. Your mistakes made you human, and now you can move on forward to become the stronger individual you are bound to become. Who you are is special, and don't ever let anyone tell you anything less. You are what you make of situations, and you are capable of overcoming the obstacle of not caring what people have to say about you. In the end, the way you feel about you is all that truly matters, because you matter. Work day in and day out, and you will wake up one day, and feel complete as a person. You'll feel complete because you didn't give up on yourself.
