During our life, we all will have experienced loss. Whether it be a breakup with your high school boyfriend, the death of a family member, or a lost dog that never came home, it all hurts just the same. Although there is no easy way to get over loss and speed up the process, there are a few things that you can do to prepare yourself mentally in order to help deal with any type of loss in your life.
The first thing you can do is to always expect the unexpected. Someone very close to me had a family member in the hospital and she said she wasn’t ready for her family member to pass away. I told her, she was never going to be ready because there is never a right time to experience loss. “You have to be ready to never be ready,” I said. It could be a 6-year relationship, or a 6-month relationship, you’ll never be ready for a breakup. Your family member could be 96 and have lived a full life, or 56 and you wish they’d had more time, you’ll never be ready for them to pass. In all reality, there is no way to say “I’m totally ready for this major change and to be without this person.” So you always have to be ready to not be ready, and that’s totally okay. No one is ready, even if you know it’s coming.
Second, even if you’re having an extremely hard time and think no one will understand your problems, every single person on earth has had to learn to cope with change or has experienced loss at one point or another. Talk to your closest friends, talk to a teacher, talk to your parents, talk to someone you trust. It’s healthier to open up and share your problems with others than to hold it in. Someone will understand, please see line 1 of this article.
Lastly, once that person leaves your life, things will be different; different is okay. You have to be strong for yourself and realize that there will be times of disappointment or grief in your life, just as there are times of great pride and satisfaction. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes and have days when you feel down or even cry because that person is no longer there, but remember, if it’s raining, a sunny day is right around the corner.
