To The People Experiencing Loss Of All Kinds

To The People Experiencing Loss Of All Kinds

If you're reading this, we can relate.
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During our life, we all will have experienced loss. Whether it be a breakup with your high school boyfriend, the death of a family member, or a lost dog that never came home, it all hurts just the same. Although there is no easy way to get over loss and speed up the process, there are a few things that you can do to prepare yourself mentally in order to help deal with any type of loss in your life.

The first thing you can do is to always expect the unexpected. Someone very close to me had a family member in the hospital and she said she wasn’t ready for her family member to pass away. I told her, she was never going to be ready because there is never a right time to experience loss. “You have to be ready to never be ready,” I said. It could be a 6-year relationship, or a 6-month relationship, you’ll never be ready for a breakup. Your family member could be 96 and have lived a full life, or 56 and you wish they’d had more time, you’ll never be ready for them to pass. In all reality, there is no way to say “I’m totally ready for this major change and to be without this person.” So you always have to be ready to not be ready, and that’s totally okay. No one is ready, even if you know it’s coming.

Second, even if you’re having an extremely hard time and think no one will understand your problems, every single person on earth has had to learn to cope with change or has experienced loss at one point or another. Talk to your closest friends, talk to a teacher, talk to your parents, talk to someone you trust. It’s healthier to open up and share your problems with others than to hold it in. Someone will understand, please see line 1 of this article.

Lastly, once that person leaves your life, things will be different; different is okay. You have to be strong for yourself and realize that there will be times of disappointment or grief in your life, just as there are times of great pride and satisfaction. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes and have days when you feel down or even cry because that person is no longer there, but remember, if it’s raining, a sunny day is right around the corner.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/the-letter-to-the-man-that-broke-my-heart

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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My First Year Of College Wasn’t Great And That’s Okay

I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would, but I made it.

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Everyone always raves about how much they loved their freshman year of college. The independence, the parties, meeting all these new people from different places. It's a big milestone in your life. But not everyone has an amazing first year. And I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong. I was so excited about college. Finally getting to be on my own, experiencing all these new things. I even met people in my class before we moved in. And the first month was a blast...but then it wasn't anymore.

Eventually, I slid into this “funk", you could say. I was depressed. I never wanted to leave my bed. Some nights, I didn't even wanna eat dinner. And soon, my friends noticed but soon just stopped inviting me out.

At first, they still would, even though the answer was always no. But I guess they got bored and tired of me always saying no.

Soon, I didn't feel like I even had any friends and at one point, I even found myself debating going home to avoid being alone in my room all weekend. I would force myself to make plans, but found myself not wanting to go out because I got ignored every time I did. It wasn't worth it.

I was homesick, isolated, and just wanted to fit in.

When the year finally came to an end, I couldn't be happier. But now that it is over and I'm home, I realize how much I miss the people that were there for me. The people that came into my life unexpectedly, but it was hard for me to really recognize they care about me.

I absolutely hated my freshman year of college. Yeah, it started out good and I found my sorority, but I never felt like I was wanted anywhere. I felt so alone. I became so incredibly isolated and distant and it took a drastic toll on me as a person.

But in spite of all that, I realize that maybe that's how it was supposed to happen. Because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all play out.

This being said, my first year might not have been what I thought or hoped for. But I can truly say I am excited to see what my next year holds.

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