To the ones who can’t say ‘no’:
Try it. Please. I’m begging you. I’m not talking politics, self-defense, or turning away temptations; I’m talking about everyday tasks and taking care of yourself. Hear me out:
Our whole lives we are encouraged to try new things and get involved in activities we are interested in. Awesome! Learning new things is great! But somewhere along the way, dance class once a week turns into tap class, ballet, field hockey tryouts, high school choir, Interact Club, volunteering at the local animal shelter, lacrosse practice, being the youth representative for your local township, taking honors classes and always doing the extra credit, and working a part time job to save money for college because it’s lazy to not work.
Hold up.
When did activities that were supposed to be fun start feeling like responsibilities and stress of managing a schedule even the world’s greatest soccer mom would have trouble balancing?
The older I get the more I’m realizing that not only do I say yes to everything I want to do, I also feel the need to say yes to what everyone else wants me to do. I’m a people-pleaser, And we people-pleasers are never going to get enough sleep if we keep saying yes to everyone. The future of the Walking Dead series will be the people-pleasers walking around with a glazed over look in our eyes thinking about the hundreds of things we still have to do today and the seventeen things we forgot to finish yesterday. Seriously.
When I’m feeling extra busy and stressed, I stop to think about it: I’ve already finished college, so I don’t need to rack up activities and clubs for a school application. I have a good job. It’s the stage of my life where it’s my turn to live how I want to, so why am I still agreeing to do things that I genuinely have no interest in? When will I stop feeling obligated to do something because someone else thinks it’s a good thing for me?
Let me go back to one of my favorite lyrics for a second. “This is my fight song / Take back my life song.” It is not selfish to want to take the driver’s seat in your own life. It’s okay to not be able to do everything or help everyone. Don’t let the FOMO (fear of missing out) overwork you. Learning to be present in each moment and appreciate it while it is happening is so important. Let that moment be enough. Please don’t get stuck chasing a moment you think will be bigger or better. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, so start recognizing how great your own side is.
Most importantly, it is a great thing to help your friends and family when they need you no matter what the situation is. But just like you feel they deserve help when they need it, you do too. You deserve time in your day to take care of yourself. Don’t ever forget how important you and your own health are. You can’t help someone else until you’ve helped yourself (Flight attendants with air masks really know what they’re talking about).
A really important person in my life once challenged me with a simple word: priorities. What felt like a slap in the face then turned out to be one of my biggest life lessons. I hope while I keep sorting through my responsibilities and priorities, all the other people-pleasers do too. You’re worth it.
