I've always been the girl with a plan. I have schedules and calendars and alarms that map out my entire day, week, or semester. I need to feel like I am in control. Like there are no surprises waiting for me around the corner. But sometimes God has another plan. A better plan.
To the one who broke me,
Thank you.
Thank you for forcing myself to understand my own strength. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fall in love with myself and be my own hero. Thank you for showing me that I can survive all of the things that I thought would kill me. Thank you for setting me free from the boundaries I placed around my own life.
The greatest man in my life always says "nothing worth having is easy." I definitely didn't choose an easy path. I love to challenge myself and prove myself wrong time after time. And you gave me the ultimate challenge. I had to start over. To piece my heart back together with tape and glue, all while pursuing my one true passion (nursing). I set my emotion aside and kept my eyes on the prize. My future is in nursing. My future is helping other people in ways I cannot help myself. You took all control from my hands in one moment, but you couldn't take my passion away from me.
Until you broke me, I relied on you for self-assurance. I was beautiful when you told me I was. I was smart when you told me I was. I was confident in myself, using your compliments as a kickstand. I now see myself in a different light. I am beautiful because God made me this way. I am smart because I work every single day towards my goals. I am confident because I am worth realizing my own value.
Until you broke me, I took my blessings for granted. I put you first. I set aside those who mattered most so that you could be the center of my world. And I let you do that. I let you take the place of those deserved my attention. Now I appreciate every moment I spend with my family. I smile wider and laugh louder when I'm with them. I take every opportunity to show them how much love my heart holds for them because I neglected that for so long. Thank you for giving me my family back.
Until you broke me, I never truly knew God. I didn't need to because everything I had ever wanted was right in front of me. But God's plan for me was different than the plan I had for myself. He knew there was only one way I would get myself out of my situation, and as much as it hurt at the time, He was doing what was best for me. He made you break me so He could help put me back together.
I know what it's like to hit rock bottom. I know what it's like to feel my heart shattered into a million pieces. I know what it's like to walk a path having no earthly idea where I'll end up. I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone I trusted with my whole heart.
But I thank you for breaking me. You gave me a new outlook on my life. You gave me confidence and a renewed love for my family and my God. You brought me closer to my friends and you showed me that I can kick some serious butt even when the only thing I want to do is break down and give up. You helped me see that I am capable of so much more than I ever gave myself credit for. I am valuable. I am precious. And I am strong.
Thank you for breaking me so I could put myself back together.
I love the person I have become, because I fought to become her.
