Throughout the past nineteen years, I have been extremely blessed to be able to say that I had not experienced a significant loss in my life. For the longest time, I was fortunate to not have been faced with the grievances and feelings of emptiness that accompany such an idea. In a way, it became a wonder to live in naivety - to live as though death was not a reality. Little did I realize the inexplicable pain that true loss would bring.
The 12th of February was my first true encounter with a loss. After almost fourteen years of happiness and companionship, my beloved Brittany Spaniel, Ruby, was put to sleep. In the depths of my mind, I knew that it was only a matter of time before Ruby would no longer be with me, as she suffered from a heart murmur that I watched increase from a stage one to a stage five in a short span of time. Over a period of roughly one year, I watched her activity decline, her appetite decrease and her desire to nap skyrocket. Nonetheless, Ruby continued to greet me each time I walked through the door as excitedly as she did when she was only months old. Yet, instead of racing around the house with her stuffed animal toys as she once did so effortlessly, she became content to simply lay at my feet. As I would stand in the mirror choosing my clothes for school and work, she would stand at my side and watch me ready myself to take on the day. It became evidently clear that Ruby was always with me, and I am secure in the fact that she always will be. Though her old age crept up on her faster than my own heart was prepared for, the time that we spent together throughout the majority of my life are the moments that I will cherish forever.
To the dog with the sweetest disposition, the kindest heart and the most faithful companion, thank you for all of the love and memories you have provided me with since I was six years old. My heart breaks to acknowledge the fact that you are no longer here with me on this earth, though I am confidently relieved that you are no longer suffering. You were truly an angel that has finally gained your wings, and I know you are graced by the presence of God in heaven.
I love you, Ruby. Rest easy.