To The Ignorant Freshman Me

To The Ignorant Freshman Me

It's a coulda, woulda, shoulda situation.

To the Ignorant, Freshman Me,

You should have known better, but how could have you? There was no hand to guide you anymore, you were treading on new ground; your parents knew nothing. Your professors, advisor, new friends - knew nothing. They did not know you, and you did not really know where you were to actually go. Your voice was still stifled somewhere between indecision and the daunting offices, and so - you let yourself get lost.

You let yourself believe that everything was going to be okay, you let yourself believe in the whole college idea: freedom.

That was your mistake.

You let yourself think that college was all about the ups and downs, the curved balls, shouldering it, and moving on. However, you couldn't afford that - I couldn't afford that. You should have taken a bigger step forward, and let your worries give voice. But you did not, and now, sophomore you is suffering from the repercussions of your choices.

Although, I digress. Yes, you should have researched your major more. Yes, you should have seen the dedication and sacrifice it entailed. Yes, you should have been more active, but at the end of the day, the past is the past. And not everything was a mistake, right?

Freshman year was a learning experience, and now, here is the future you trying to rectify your mistakes by helping out others in their college applications. Here is present you - me - reaching out to the future freshman:

Future freshman/college applicants,

Transitioning into college whether if you are a resident or a commuter will be difficult. It will be daunting, maybe even slightly traumatizing, but it will be an experience you cannot replicate anywhere else. However, while it promises freedom - realize that it is a two-edged sword. Freedom comes with a price and a responsibility which many fail to balance perfectly.

And that is okay, but before you jump into this dream of liberation, remember this when you apply to college:

SAT scores don't amount as much as your transcript; aim for average or somewhere close to it and you will be fine.

Research your major. Research double-majoring and duel majoring; research your field. Some majors are more strict, competitive, and time-consuming. Some will require you to sacrifice your time, and you have to gauge if you will personally be okay with that.

Don't compare your scores to others, get mentors, get help - ask if you have questions. It is a great four years that lies ahead of you, but it is also four years of your life that will shape your future and determine where you will go. So do what you have to do, and be as informed as possible.

Cover Image Credit: Peter Hellberg

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A Girl Gets Raped At School Then Gets Suspended

Boys are always going to be boys, right?

How many cases have there been about young girls get raped? As of late rape is becoming a huge topic that some are still afraid to talk about. I am here to share a story of a ninth grader who is, of course, getting the blame rather than the boys that did the crime.

A female student who goes to Miami Carol Senior High School has brought claims to people about three boys who had raped her. Where did it happen? It happened in the bathroom at the school, yep you read that correctly. These students had taken advantage of another during the time they should be learning.

The fourteen-year-old who I'm going to refer to as Sarah claims she was sexually assaulted by three boys and gets suspended from the aftermath.

"He was holding onto my sweater really tight and I was trying to leave to get back to class, and he kind of just pulled me into the restroom," Sarah tells. She went to a teacher had told her about the incident that occurred. Eventually, the school suspended the boys but did not expel them.

I get that Sarah may be horrified or even scared to go to go due to what happened. Why does she need to be suspended? What did she do in the situation that she should get a strike for it? Maybe it's for Sarah's safety, maybe they are treating her unfairly.

Moving on, the first boy she says forced her to have anal sex while the others forced her to perform oral on them. However, the girl supposedly told the Mother that she didn't scream or run away leaving that as consensual.

Sigh, why does it always come down to that? If a girl or woman doesn't strike back it is considered consensual. I've read that in other cases before and I just don't understand how that can validate any situation. I'm sorry I didn't have enough time to fight back when I was being held down or forced.

As if this story could get any worse it did and fast. Two of the boys' families stepped forward and told the investigator something that no one wants to hear. One of the boys has gonorrhea and the other is HIV positive.

This girl is only fourteen years old and is going to have life ripped away. They had given Sarah medication just in case and she won't know if she is positive until a year later. Why? What did he do to deserve that?

The same with the boy though, it is a shame that he is HIV positive but why would you want to infect someone else? Why would you want to let someone else suffer from the same disease?

The school had released a statement which said “School district administrators in conjunction with Miami-Dade Schools Police are thoroughly investigating this case thoroughly, and it continues to be an active investigation. Information regarding the case has been provided to the State Attorney’s Office as well as the Department of Children and Families (DCF).”

Sarah is getting therapy and is staying away from the school which I said I would completely understand. Her Mother is stating that the district is being difficult with allowing her to transfer someplace else.

Rape isn't going to go away even if we want it to. People are still going to do the same thing no matter how hard we fight. It becoming the same fight over and over and there isn't much we can do.

I just hope that this won't be so popular in the news. With each and every story that comes up reads the same thing. Female gets raped by a male and they usual result in the winning of the man.

At some point we need to figure out a way to calm this but unfortnauly for us we can't make it stop.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Full of Emotions: A poem

Not positive emotions, but they needed written

This is a poem that has been stewing in the back of my head for the past week, things that I've felt like I needed to voice and should've spoken up about ages ago.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.

I can't bring myself to love you.

I can't stand you

I almost hate you

and yet,

because of who you are,

I know it shouldn't be like this.

Does it make me a bad person

if I wish for your existence to end?

Does it make me evil

to wish no good to come to you?

If this is a sin,

I think it probably is,

I am not ready to repent for it yet.

All these feelings

I used to have for you

have been numbed

by the anesthesia of time.

Every time the anesthesia wears off

I learn a new thing to like

and almost just as quickly

another thing to hate.

You hurt me and you hurt

people I love

with equal abandon

and I can't forgive that.

Maybe it makes me a bad person

maybe I'm justified

in my feelings of dislike

and even if I am

I don't care.

My emotions have been

stunted for so long

because of you.

Being away from you,

I'm allowed to lower my defenses

and actually let my emotions grow

and attach myself to others.

Being away from you,

I realized how strange your love is,

how different your views are

and I've seen how far apart

you and I are now.

And I'm okay with it.

Cover Image Credit: Erdenebayar

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