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To The Guy Who Led Me On

I hope you ruined this for a reason. I hope you're happy.

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To The Guy Who Led Me On
saatchikevin

You ever fall for someone and get scared at how great the person was? They truly made you feel as though you were really the most important thing to him. Well recently that happened to me. I met this guy... let's call him Luke. When Luke first started messaging me, I was the biggest b***h, needless to say. He would ask me to hang out and I would always decline merely due to the fact I just wasn't in the mood to deal with a guy wanting to "hang out." Netflix and chill just isn't as fun as people make it seem. But Luke remained persistent and understood why I didn't want to hang out and made it clear that he wanted to get to know me better as a person. That was a sense of relief in my eyes, because I had finally met someone who just wanted to get to know me. Granted I had feelings (he was always on my mind) for this guy the more and more we started talking, but I wasn't going to let him know that because in my experience as soon as I told someone I had feelings for them s**t hits the fan.

So the texting every day began. I was receiving the "good morning beautiful" texts, and honestly I was on cloud nine. In the past, I had dealt with guys who were stage five clingers. I mean they had to know what I was doing, who I was doing it with, or they were telling me that they loved me only two weeks into casual conversation. So talking to Luke was refreshing because he didn't bombard me with conversation that made me uncomfortable, nor did he say uncomfortable things like he loved me. It was really nice to have someone just say nice things to me. I think my favorite moment was when he explained what he really liked about me. Him saying those things made me feel like he really was listening to all the things I said to him in past conversations. So I though this is it - I may have finally found the one, so I decided to finally tell him how I felt because I thought I was ready to admit it. I was terrified to say the least because what if that were the end of things. But Luke just took it in stride and things were great.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was scrolling through old text messages he had sent me and I had found it amusing how much Luke had tried to impress me in the beginning of casual texting. So I screenshot the messages and told him how I found them funny and that so much has changed and I'm glad he doesn't act like that anymore. He sent a bunch of laughing face emojis, so I thought he found the messages funny as well, so when I went a little further with the joke I in turn got a message back that said "F**k you" with laughing face emojis. So I responded back jokingly, only to not get a text back. At first I just assumed that Luke was busy, so I sent another text stating that I didn't understand why he had an attitude, I was just joking. But still, I received no message back. So I started getting agitated. One, because I saw that he had read my messages and two, because it seemed like such a small thing to get angry over. For the record, I was PMSing HARD, so I explained that to him because leading up to that moment I realized I had been a b***h and that was no way for me to act and I apologize. The message again was read and still no response. So I sent multiple texts trying to figure out what it was that I did wrong. All I got in response were two texts: "what" and "thanks you feel better now?"

Honestly, I was shocked. This wasn't the boy I was talking to every day, texting me good morning and asking me how my day was. This wasn't that guy who could list the things he liked about me. This wasn't the guy who I found charming in a way that made me want to be with him. I didn't think this would ever happen - well, I mean it could happen, I just didn't think it would happen with him. Had he not gotten mad at me over something to this day I still am not sure what I did wrong, I was going to ask him if he wanted to meet my parents, which is saying a lot because I only introduce boys to my parents that I feel I have a real connection with. I was deeply hurt by what happened.

I spent a few weeks moving like an empty shell. I couldn't listen to a single sad song because it would just induce unnecessary tears. But then I realized that shedding tears for a boy who didn't have the audacity to even let me know what I did wrong was stupid. He was not worth those tears, he did not deserve them. So I wiped them away and held my head high, because one day someone is going to be elated to be with me, and I will be everything they ever wanted and he will be everything I ever wanted. I won't ever have to worry about him feeling inadequate to past people I have been with or whatever the case may be.

To whoever is reading this because this is something they can relate to, it does get better, and there is nothing wrong with you. But this is also not gender specific. Guys, if a girl has ever done anything like this to you she wasn't worth it either. You are a wonderful and unique person and the right one will come along, but sometimes you might have to kiss a few frogs first, and that is completely okay.

To the a**hole boy (who's name isn't really Luke) thank you. You helped me realized that sometimes letting your guard down is okay, and to not be afraid of giving myself to someone. You taught me that even when people are terrible to you, all you can do is use their terrible attitude toward you as motivation to become a better person... Oh, don't think I wasn't going to bash you in this last paragraph, because I am. Why? Because this is my piece and I can be petty in it if I want to. So here is a small list of the things I hope for you in the future...

I hope there is always snow in your driveway.

I hope you step on a Lego.

I hope when you bite into what you think is a chocolate chip cookie, and it is actually oatmeal raisin.

I hope your clothes shrink in the dryer.

I hope that every soda you purchase and consume is flat.

I hope that everyone forgets your birthday.

I hope your car doesn't start.

I hope you get caught in a rainstorm with no umbrella.

I hope you go to buy something with your card and it declines.

But most of all...

I hope you fall in love and that person doesn't love you back.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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