You’re a coward and a liar.

From the second we started getting close, you promised you’d have my back. We became brother and sister. For all the things I did for you and all the nights you didn’t think you’d make it through, I was there. I was the only one who cared enough to get you away from those who hurt you. I held your hand and gave you a shoulder where you could lay your head on.

All those memories, you know the ones where we were too drunk to remember the next morning. The nights when you'd just show up; out of nowhere and we'd just sit on the ugly blue couch and talk. I remember your awful singing and how you never knew the lyrics but you tried so hard to act like you did. The night I know I'll never forget was when I was hurt really bad and all it took was one look down the stairs and you knew. All the endless nights we knew would never end.

Late night trips anywhere and everywhere, from Wendy's to Taco Bell. I trusted you, not only with my secrets but also with my heart. You were one of my first best friends at college, one that I thought would last a lifetime. I thought our friendship meant something to you, but apparently, I was wrong. I was mistaken to think that our friendship was any more than a convenience to you and your needs.

You’re selfish and self-centered but I knew that and I cared about you anyways. I cared because I thought our friendship would be different. That maybe I could change those little selfish things you did because you didn’t do them with me. You listened to me and genuinely cared if I was okay. What I thought was that you had my back and my best interest at heart; I guess I was wrong.

I knew that and you can deny it all you want but I know you cared. Cared. Being past tense because apparently, I did something so terrible to push you away. It was so awful that you felt you had the right to cut me out. All those memories that were once amazing have now turned gray. You became the person you really are. You’re not a leader and our “friend group” only followed you because they’re scared of you.

Let me ask you this... why did you leave? What terrible thing did I do that made you walk away? Was it all the times I had your back? or all the nights where I gave you anything you needed? If you could please, just give me a reason, something that will make more sense. After everything, it is the least you could do.

I will always miss the times we had. It hurts to scroll through my Snapchat memories and see all those silly videos of you. It kills me inside to think that you really don't care anymore. Often, I find myself wishing that you'd think of me and miss me. I may cry for now but I know in the end, it's your loss, not mine.

Thinking of you now, you’re a bully, a coward, and a liar. You might not think to miss me now and I understand that. Let your pride and self-absorption encapsulate who you are. I will never understand why you left, but in the future, I'll know it was for the best. Let me just tell you this: in ten, fifteen or twenty years, I know you'll look back on these days and see what a monumental mistake you made when you cut me out of your life for no apparent reason.