It is strange to think that the person I once cared for so much, could turn into a stranger in the blink of an eye.
Our hearts kept it very simple. I loved you and you loved me. I talked about you like you put the stars in sky. I let my guard down for you, I gave you my everything. We lived. We laughed. We loved. We fell for each other almost instantaneously.
We may have loved each other, but we weren’t IN love with each other. We were complicated. We were analytical and imaginative. We thought about everything, all the time. We made things harder than we needed to.
I changed a lot while loving you. I am not the type of girl who has a running Pinterest board of a dream wedding. I am not one who talks about, or even thinks about, marriage and children. But with you something was different. We talked about life and marriage and kids. Not always about having them together, but sometimes it was just about those things in general.
Our love did not last long. Shortly after our story had begun, things started changing. Our sparks had died, leaving us burned and confused. We wanted there to be a logical solution to our differences, but we both knew there was none. The truth is, we weren’t ready for what we thought we wanted. Our pasts, our demons, whatever it may have been, we started to push each other away and tried to fill that void with other things. We thought we were on the same page and that we wanted the same things, but that was anything but the truth. You wanted more than I was willing to give. And when I didn’t give it you made me feel worthless, unwanted, and less than.
I knew I had to let you go. There are times I hate you because I can’t erase the times you hurt me and the tears you sent down my face. But there are also times where I could not thank you enough. Our relationship made me realize my worth. You broke my heart open and a new light came in. I was so desperate for love that I turned back to the true source. I thought we would grow old together. I thought you were the one. But sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we plan.Our love may have died, but it gave me new life and it has taught me much more than happily ever after.
