Ha, I remember when I thought you were my everything. I thought I was so blessed to have such an amazing guy. However, my thoughts were obviously clouded by you.

I did everything you told me to do. I did everything you wanted me to do. If you didn't want me to hangout with certain people then I didnt. If you didn't want me going out with my mom then I didnt. If you wanted me to watch you play video games for 24/7 hours then I did. If you wanted me to grab us fast food then I did. If you told me to leave you alone, then I did. If you told me to go to bed, well, I did. Must I go on?

I felt like I was the perfect girlfriend. I did everything you asked. I lost people so I could be solely with you. I always listened to you. I just wanted you to be happy with me. However, I found myself walking on eggshells so I wouldn't hurt you if I did something you hated. I did everything for you. But for some reason, it wasn't enough.

Everything I possibly gave up, wasn't good enough for you. If I talked to my family, then I was backstabbing you somehow.Or If I wasn't around you all the time, then you would assume that I must be with someone else. If I did anything wrong, you destroyed me. You would ignore me, call me foul words like I'm a bitch, or a hoe, or I'm psychotic, just words to hurt me. You would say things, like "omg you're so much like your mother" (like it was an insult). You constantly put me down..saying that I'm too much of a people pleaser or saying things like that my thighs are too big, or I'm gaining weight.

Some nights when you would be so mad at me, you would throw all my things into the living room, with all your roommates watching. Some days you would cuse me out and tell me to leave and never come back. There were days I would go to sleep crying because of something you said to me. Although you never physically hurt me, you emotionally and mentally put me through hell. And yet,everytime you would hurt me, I always came back running to your arms. I always came back to you. You could say anything that you wanted and you knew I would come back. You knew it and I knew it, so it was all a game for you. It didn't matter what horrible things you would say because I'd come back.

But then one day, I couldn't do it any longer. I couldn't keep letting you treat me like shit. I realized that I didn't deserve it anymore. It was hard, I'll admit it. I was so in love with you that I couldn't see the person you really were. You didn't love me, you just used me. And it took me awhile, a long time to figure that out and to be strong again. I became so weak, so depressed, with such low self-esteem, I was lost because I lost myself trying to love you.. trying to love you, a person that didn't love me like I loved them, a person that took me for granted, a person that treated me like two fucks, a person who who treated me like shit.

Because of you treating me like shit, I learned not to ever go down that road again. I've learned that I don't deserve to be degraded or treated like I'm nothing. I've learned that I deserve someone who is willing to love me back the same way I love them. I deserve someone who respects me and loves me for who I am.

Thanks to you, I learned what a relationship shouldn't be.