It has been almost a week since I have finished my first year of college and I have realized that I have changed a whole lot. One of the bigger changes that happened to me was that I had a somewhat serious boyfriend leave me. Then shortly after, I began to realize he made me afraid in that relationship of a lot of things, to think the way I wanted, to dress the way I want to dress , and most of all, he made me afraid to have fun. I became afraid to meet new people because they would constantly judge me for not drinking or smoking pot. These have been things that I have never needed to have fun, I am so much more fun when I am aware of what I am doing and the best part is, I can remember the next morning. But these so called friends of his made me feel afraid to have fun with that group of people, they made it seem that we were not on the same level if I didn't drink like they did. And honestly, all of the stuff they did wasn't really fun anyways.
As soon as I left that toxic environment, I started to realize not every person on the planet is an underage alcoholic. There are actually some really cool people that I have started spending my time with that have some pretty hefty goals and really neat lifestyles.I met one guy that is going to school for graphic design that used to be in the military and wants to have his own shop one day. I also met a group of teachers and nurses that have a hope of restoring the nursing shortage and common core education. When I hang out with these people, they can actually have some pretty intelligent conversations about more things than what my alcohol of choice is and how many shots deep I am.
This guy made me afraid to even step foot in a party because it might mean that people are going to judge me for not being a sorority sister anymore. He made me feel ugly and nagging like a mom. No one wants to take a mom to a party (unless you're mine because Wendy is great). But the point is, he literally made me feel like I was the party-pooper. When I am with my friends now, I am the life of the party. Happiness is who you hang out with and this little experience has really taught me that. Also for anyone who thinks picking mean guys as friends is a good thing, it's not because "birds of a feather flock together". You really do become who you surround yourself with. Friends are important and if they don't support you and the people you love, what is the point of having them?
I held myself back from a lot of fun opportunities this year all because of a boyfriend that didn't support me, took away my self-confidence, and left me feeling like a 45 -year-old single woman with about twenty cats. Boys should never make any of us feel this way. They should make us feel like the life of the party, not the reason they want to go home.
P.S. To the new girl, good luck :).
