It's tough being the girl seeking out love. It's even tougher when you're going about the search in all the wrong ways. Rather than looking for all of the qualities you once swore would be your perfect guy, now you're ignoring some of your biggest turn-offs all because he says he loves you. It's easy to get swept up in someone else's words when they start spewing words you've always wanted to hear. We've all been there, loving a guy too much while everyone else can see he doesn't care for you the same. We become blinded by his charming text messages, which have only become so charming because he's practiced these same words on so many girls before. You know his history, but you swear he's different now because he's met you. You swear he will change for you because you're the one for him to end up with. He'll drop all of his bad so he can be good enough for you, when in reality you're the one who is changing. You're no longer ambitious and light-hearted, you're becoming lost in this guy. Winning him over is the only thing you're focused on now, besides making up excuses for him. In the end he breaks your heart and you're totally bummed. You give him your all and all he did for you was rip you apart. You know you were great and that you didn't deserve this. So now you are on the outlook for a man who will appreciate you for all the great things you do and know he's hit the girlfriend jackpot. You begin thinking every guy around you is a potential suitor. But you are not a magician. Stop trying to turn nothing into something.

I was in those shoes once. I wanted to find my perfect guy more than anything else. I began looking past all flaws and focusing on any shred of hope there was for a guy to be right for me. I was really lost in the pursuit of love. I know exactly what you are feeling and what you are doing. You no longer have guy friends, they've all become "maybe," as in maybe we're supposed to be the best friends who fall in love. Maybe we broke up because we're going to find our way back to each other after we've matured. Or, my favorite, maybe we have three classes together, not because we have the same major and they're the best times these classes were available, no it's because maybe we are supposed to meet each other and fall in love.

See what I learned from being that girl is that you aren't really looking for love, rather you're looking for validation that you are in fact lovable. Those guys you loved who did not return the same feelings to you, broke you down. The first guy upset you, the second one didn't know what he was losing, but the third one is the one where it all started to turn around. That third guy started to wear on your self esteem. What did I do wrong? What is it about me that makes guys want to leave me? Now you're dating life isn't for the thrill of finding the right guy, now it is a test to gauge whether or not you are worth being loved.

I am telling you now, this is not the way to go. Whether a guy wants to date you or not does not determine your worth. The day you realize that is the day your life will completely turn around. When you no longer search for validation in the opinion of some guy you had dinner with will be the same day you wake up in the morning and feel pride in being you. Loving yourself is the true key to being happy. Once you love yourself, that is when finding someone else to love you will no longer be top priority, instead it will be a nice bonus onto your already happy life.

Guys are not the key to your happiness, you are.