To The Girl Afraid Of Her Feelings

To The Girl Afraid Of Her Feelings

To be honest, the idea of getting "in too deep" with someone terrifies me.

Think back to your first crush, like ever. What was his name? Was he in your classes? Did you sit together at lunch? Did you write his name in little hearts all over notebook paper? How did he make you feel? I'm sure you were practically in love with him at the time.

If you're reading this, it's probably been a long time since you've felt this way about anyone.

There are the hopeless romantics, and there are the girls who avoid feelings at all costs. I recently discovered that I have become the latter of the two, and with that comes a lot of mixed feelings. I feel the need to maintain this persona because most people do not end up being worth my time (sorry, not sorry). It sounds harsh, but I don't mind it for the most part. I focus on what matters, like schoolwork, friends, and binge watching Shameless (Lip Gallagher is my only crush at the moment, but who can blame me?).On the flip side, I can't help but wonder why I'm like this. What is so wrong with having feelings? To be honest, the idea of getting "in too deep" with someone terrifies me.

We’ve all been there. You’ve met someone you really like, but then you take a step back and think to yourself,

I can’t let this happen. My feelings are going to get the best of me.

It can be hard to want anything more than a fling, because you are constantly meeting new people and life is unpredictable (to say the least). You're almost positive that nothing will ever last. That is totally understandable, because you have been exposed to so much, and you know that most things are temporary. But part of you also wonders why you haven't felt anything in a while -- never mind even wanting something more. You end up 'talking' to someone for a maximum of ten days and then wondering why they just disappear.

You then realize that you're doing this to yourself. Nothing ever lasts because you don't put the work in, and to be quite honest, it doesn't even faze you that people come and go. Still, you really wish you could let your guard down for once and invest your time and love in another human being. That can be hard, though. You are taking a huge risk by putting your heart on the line, but it seems as if others do so effortlessly. So, what's your deal? Why do you always push people away? Maybe you're afraid the worst-case scenario...

It doesn't work out.

So what? You've been through this before, and you ended up fine. But if you're familiar with heartbreak, then you'd never want that to happen again, right? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, right? The good does outweigh the bad. Feelings do suck, I know. They can change your outlook on life. They are worth living for. There is someone out there who could make you feel like you're on top of the world. What's better than that?

I've heard that being in love is "the best feeling in the world" (can't really speak for myself on this one), so please do yourself a favor and open your doors to someone when they come knocking. Do not let them go, because they may not come back if you push them away too soon. You will regret it.

You deserve to be so, so happy, but it's on you to stop being afraid of emotions and trust your instincts. Take a risk, for once. It could actually end up working out for you.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Popular Right Now

To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.


Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Fun Winter Date Ideas

There is always something about when the weather gets cold your love life gets hot


There is nothing better than spending time with someone you love. There is something about when the weather getting colder you cannot help but fall in love with spending time with someone special.

Cuddling by the fire is always an essential. Lets face it you are freezing from the outside why not get together make a pallet full of blankets and pillows, light the fire in the fire place, and get to cuddling while watching cute Christmas movies. It is a fun time to really get in some quality time with your significant other.

Driving around in the car looking at Christmas lights. So many people go completely all out on the lights outside of there house that why not enjoy all their hard work. I love Christmas lights as it is,but getting to spend time with someone you love just makes it that much better.

Ice Skating... Grab your skates and if you are anything like me you will need the wall to the skating rink without falling. You get to drink hot chocolate in between skating. It is always nice to get to have fun and do something you would not normally do any other time of the year.

Playing in the Snow, is such a fun time to get silly with your person, because you can truly let your inner child come out. You can have a snowball fight, make snow angles, or you can even build a snowball fort. Plus you and your date will be in so many layers that you will look like walking marshmallows which is always funny. With this one obviously it is not always ideal considering there is no guarantee it will actually snow, but if you get the chance I 100 percent recommend this one.

Decorating for Christmas... I love getting in the Christmas spirit by decorating my living space with all the Christmas vibes. You and your significant other can decorate the tree with all your ornaments. It is such a fun time and you are killing two birds with one stone. You get to get your space all decorated and pretty, but you also get a fun date out of it.

Related Content

Facebook Comments