To the Girl who will try to love him next,
It won't be easy. Since you are the next girl, it is pretty obvious that it didn’t work out for me and him in the past, because if it did you would not be reading this letter, and actually, it wouldn’t even exist.
This isn’t a hatred letter or one to warn you. It is one so that maybe you can love him in a different way than I ever did.
So here is a list of some things you should know.
1. The more you love, the more he will push you away.
He doesn’t really mean to, well I guess that is what I think. He just does not know how to react to someone actually loving him in a way that no one else can. So be patient, but make sure he knows that you need to know if his love for you is on the same level because if you just hold that in, you will slowly destroy yourself, trust me.
2. He is a free spirit and loves to live life.
So that is code for DON’T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM HIS GUYS. Of course, he should be giving you attention and spending time with you, but he also needs to be with his friends and enjoy their company just as much. The more you try to take him away from that, one of two things will happen, 1. He will hang out with them more to prove a point and it will cause a strain on your relationship ultimately ending with not such a fairy tale ending, or 2. He will listen to you and then later resent you from keeping him from being who he is and making memories with those that were there before you. So let him enjoy himself. And if you are afraid things will get out of hand and things will happen when you're not around, then a serious trust concern is weighing on your relationship.
3. He has a heart. But that doesn’t mean he likes to show it often.
He loves his mother and his brother more than life itself. And nothing can keep him from his dog. He will do little things very rarely like taking you to a place you always wanted to go especially with him. Or takes you to go get your favorite treat, ice cream. He will put a blanket on you when you are taking a nap, and he will kiss your forehead and hold your hand when tears are falling down your cheek and life gets to be a little too much. He is very guarded and scared of trusting anyone let alone you. So just try to understand and continue to love like you have been.
4. Don’t change him.
Don’t try to change his love for baseball or his love for the show “The Office”. Do not tell him that he is a terrible person when he can’t make up his mind. Don’t ever say “I wish you were like ….” Because he will never forgive you. Don’t even think that he would want to watch the movie “White Christmas” with you during Christmas especially if his favorite “Dr. Seuss How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is on TV at the same time. Accept him for who he is. Accept his stubbornness and his weird ways of loving.
5. But most importantly make sure you draw the line.
Make sure you get what you need and deserve. Make sure that you are being loved the way you are loving. Make sure that he sees what he has in front of him because one day you might not be there. Just know that you can love someone for years with everything in you and sometimes you just never will be enough. Realize that being with him might scare you just as much as it scares him, but make sure that you both understand that sometimes fear is what you have to choose. And more than anything never regret anything if things don’t workout. Because he was something special, something different, something wonderful, he was everything. At least he was to me.
From the girl who loved him in every way. Take care of him for me. Good luck and I hope things work out better for you.
And if he sees you reading this, let him know that it is okay to let his heart grow three times bigger.
Stay True,
Montana Joleen
