Women are abused every day and men are as well. It seems like it is talked about a lot on social media, but when someone reads that article or sees that picture, there is a small flicker of pity and then before you know it they are scrolling down to look at more and different posts. I think that it is time to share my story.
When I was in high school, I met this guy. He was funny, attractive, smart, and seemed to be in to me. Key word is "seemed." Time went by and finally, we went on our first date.
Everything about this man drew me in. All I wanted was to call him mine so that no one could take him away from me. Little did I know, that not only was he never going to leave; but he was going to make sure that I couldn't either.
I could start this with, "On a dark and stormy night..." but I fear that the realism of the incident will be lost. It was a perfectly beautiful winter afternoon. This just goes to prove that anything can happen, anywhere and at any time.
We were having a wonderful day. We actually, ironically, were trying to reenact our first date. How cute! Not quite. After we got back to his place, we were just laying down talking about life. All of a sudden, he asked for my phone.
I was never a fan of snooping. I thought that it was childish and unnecessary. If you felt the need to look through your boyfriend or girlfriend's phone, then you probably should not be with them.
I reluctantly gave him the phone, on which he found texts between me and one of my best friends, who happened to be of the male species. How dare I, am I right? What was about to happen next, I could have never really prepared myself for.
One minute I was sitting on the bed, waiting to get back to playing Solitaire on my phone, and the next, I find myself gasping for breath as his meaty hands envelop my small throat. My body went in to shock.
I knew how to defend myself, but no one ever thinks that they need to defend his or herself against someone that they think they love. Again, key word is "think."
Before I knew it, I was thrown across the room into the sliding glass door that leads out into the balcony. I could not move. Every blow to my trembling body, as I lay by the foot of the bed, sent me further and further into a dark hole.
Finally I was pulled to my feet by this maniac. Everything after that happened in a blur. There were more punches thrown, by both of us, and finally I found myself stumbling into the front door of my house, seeking the comfort of my bed and to be alone.
I did not want to talk to anyone. I did not want to cry in front of anyone. I was embarrassed, hurt, scared, and most importantly, I was shattered. How could someone who I loved so much do something like that to me? Did he even love me? How did I not know sooner?
As these questions started circling my brain, I fell deeper and deeper into sleep. The next morning, my neck was covered in bruises. I had scrapes and more bruises on my arms and legs. It has taken me this long to come to terms with what happened that night.
What happened was not and never will be okay, for anyone. There is never any excuse for a man to hit a woman or vise versa. Sometimes, you find yourself making excuses for them, like in my situation as I did.
"Oh he loves me". "He didn't mean to". "He was just upset". "He is usually not like this". All of that is jut you trying to hang on to something or someone that never truly existed. As hard as it might be, you need to let go, get away, and move the hell on with your life.
I am doing it now and I know you can if you are also in this situation.