To The Girl Who Supported Me Through The Lowest Point

To The Girl Who Supported Me Through The Lowest Point In My Life

I am sorry I let you down.

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Balance is the most formative tool I use to keep my world spinning.

Satisfaction comes from harmony and equity in all the relational aspects of my life.

As an October baby, I am a Libra at heart and if you read horoscopes, you will know that relational and inner peace is the key to my success. I have a ginormous heart, too big sometimes, as I put others before myself. This sounds like a perfect virtue, but I neglect to make good decisions for myself as I am always chasing balance. The most prominent time I chose the optimal path for myself was my junior year of high school. I do not regret putting myself first, but I do not have the closure I want, so here I am trying to fill a small void to tip my scale back to the center.

To the girl who supported me through the lowest point in my life: thank you.

For showing me compassion when the world left me alone. For keeping me overflowing with hope when my options seemed empty. For showering me with patience when everyone wanted me to get it together right there and then. For being my best friend and loving me so wholeheartedly when I did not even like myself.

I was beyond lucky.

More fortunate than luck, since it was not just a flip of a coin chance that I had her in my life; it was intentional on her part. She understood my pain and knew my weaknesses, but never used them against me. Through her, I found myself again. I got on top of my life again, putting the pieces all back together. The turn around of my attitude and life goals was hard work, but worth all the blood, sweat, and tears. She pulled me to my feet again and showed me how to dance with a little spring in my step.

Unfortunately, our friendship did not survive another whirlwind.

The next year, she went through the same things as I had from prioritizing pointless teenage hobbies daily to always questioning her life agenda. I saw the signs of her going down the wrong path and I decided to warn her, but not walk down it with her. The path is not necessarily the "bad" path, it just does not fit who I am or who I want to be. Because she chose to explore the journey I had, I knew it would take intentional efforts to meander her way back to the optimal track. However, I realized that she did not see fault in her actions and would not want to change. So I stayed on my path and kept pursuing my goals.

Even though I kept my head down and chased my goals, I did look back.

Reaching out through texts and small sided talks were our only means of communication. There are no hard feelings and we are still good friends. She is unforgettable and I credit her with so much vigor for loving me even when I was unlovable. To this day, I get pangs of sadness that I could not be there for her while she figured things out. I feel unbalanced in our relationship because my actions fell short of who I am. But, if I had a chance to do it over, I would do it all the same, because I chose myself and became someone I am proud of.

So to the girl who supported me through the lowest point in my life, thank you and I am sorry.

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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