To The Girl Who Settles Because She's Afraid To Look For More
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To The Girl Who Settles Because She's Afraid To Look For More

Are You In Love or In Love With The Idea Of Being In Love?

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To The Girl Who Settles Because She's Afraid To Look For More

I think more often than not, girls settle because they want that white picket fence sooner rather than later, regardless of their feelings screaming at them- "THIS ISN'T HOW THIS IS SUPPOSE TO FEEL."

You subliminally assume just because you've found someone who respects you the way you'd want your daughter to be respected one day, and consider the fact you're getting older-that this man must be it. He has to be...Right?

Before you say--"Do people actually do that though?"

Take a look around. You'll see a lot of people settle because they don't want the inconvenience of having to look for something that makes them genuinely happy. You settle for good times instead of trying to search for the great.

Eventually you keep this mindset for so long that he begins to become a habit. Which in time makes it even harder to distance yourself from him. Not because you love this man and can't visualize a world without him, but because you're afraid that if you don't have him, then you're back at square one.

Starting over? At my age?

You take all of this into consideration and before you even think about weighing out the pro's and con's you've already talked yourself out of it because you're in such a rush for your life to hurry and start. So you allow your life to start without actually enjoying how you're living.

All for this idea that being with someone at a younger age, having kids, buying a house, getting married-will somehow make you happy.

But it won't.

If you're settling, you won't have time to enjoy the white picket fence, or new house with kids running around. You'll be too stressed about the fact that this life wasn't one that you wanted, and even though it's here, you're still not happy with the decisions that you've made up to this point.

You're with a man you don't love because you were so eager to start something.

You had children who now will grow up watching the way you interact with their dad, and will be able to see the lack of feelings you feel and the unhappiness you don't even realize is so evident.

You're in a house that you thought you'd love, but it's filled with memories that didn't reach the expectations you set for yourself when you were young.

All of these things you never thought about, all because you decided to settle.

Imaging leaving someone that has been around you for so long is hard. You learn that person's routine, and you start to become apart of it without even trying to. Soon enough you're so far intertwined with that routine that getting out of it seems almost impossible.

But here's the thing.

It's not freaking impossible.

It's very, very much achievable.

I'm only 22 years old, but when I was 19, I thought I needed to end up with the man I was with.

I was young and naive, but even worse, I was so blinded by the fact that I didn't love him, I tried to convince myself a friend was better than nothing.

I played out how my life would go with him, and I even tried justifying it by telling myself: He'd be a good dad. He was a good person. He was smart and hardworking. I'd never struggle financially. I enjoyed his company.

Not once did I ask myself:

Are you attracted to him sexually?

Are you in love with him?

Is this the kind of love you'd want for your daughter?

When I finally got the courage to ask myself these questions, I almost felt ashamed. I was ready to settle down at 19 years of age, all because I was so eager to get my life started, without actually asking myself what I wanted out of it.

So ask yourself,

Are you with someone because you love them?

Or are you with that person because you love the idea of them?

Trust me, there is a difference.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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